


Forces Unseen

by oneprotagonistshort



Series: Forces Unseen [1]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Arson, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed, Vacation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-04 21:17:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 34,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15155822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneprotagonistshort/pseuds/oneprotagonistshort
Summary: An old friend of Dirk's calls him and Todd to Massachusetts to help figure out a series of mysterious arsons. Old fire lookout towers have been going up in flames with no explanation, and Dirk's particular form of mystery-solving is required. When they get there everyone assumes they're a couple, and for the sake of their cover they don't correct them. Eventually they have to startactuallyfaking it, and Todd's feelings for Dirk ignite.





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> holy cow this is my big bang! it has been truly amazing to work on this, largely due to my amazing artist, beta, muse, and friend [mango](http://www.mangoamango.tumblr.com)
> 
> quite a bit of what's referenced in this fic is based on real things, so I've created a [reference post](http://www.oneprotagonistshort.tumblr.com/forcesunseenref) for visual references, maps, recipes, all kinds of stuff! that said, I took a lot of artistic liberty with history, language, geography, and the towers themselves so the stuff in the fic is inspired by real life but not 100% true to it. Special thanks to Jack for the idea to use fire towers; Jack, if you're reading this, please stop now, or at the very least don't tell me if you do. fandom!Bri has a lot of secrets.
> 
> also worth noting: Dirk's website (you'll see!) is best viewed on desktop
> 
> please enjoy, I've had an absolute blast and I hope you like it too!

It was October in Seattle; mild but gray, clouds covering the view of Mt. Rainier, with just enough rain to remind everyone that in a few weeks they’d be getting ready for winter. Todd was bored and Dirk was antsy and Farah was ready to kill them both. Boredom made Todd grumpy, which was made worse by Dirk’s inability to keep still or stay quiet for more than twenty minutes at a time. Farah just wanted them to submit their damn expense reports, but no one seemed willing to do that for a month that hadn’t had any real case-related expenses. Todd was fully prepared to eat the $15 he’d spent on snacks for a stakeout if it meant he wouldn’t have to do any paperwork, but Farah was insistent.

Needless to say, things around the office were a bit tense. Todd hit his limit after five minutes of listening to Dirk slowly peel the foil off a chocolate coin.

“Unwrap it or don’t,” he snapped, only partially because he was mad that Dirk had chocolate he hadn’t offered to share. “The chocolate will still be there if you rip the foil.”

Dirk had the nerve to look offended. “And risk destroying potential clues?” he asked. “I think not.”

“It’s a chocolate coin you got at the dollar store,” Todd intoned. “It’s probably not even real chocolate.”

“ _You’re_ probably not even real chocolate,” Dirk responded, not looking up from his work. It didn’t make any sense as a retort, but Todd threw a pencil at his head anyway.

“Hey!” Farah said from her desk, which was as far away from Dirk and Todd as it could physically be without actually going out the window. “Do I need to split you guys up?”

“No,” they both mumbled, contrite enough that Farah left them alone.

A morose silence had fallen over the office when suddenly, out of nowhere, the phone on Dirk’s desk began to ring. This was surprising for several reasons, the main one being that they each had their own phone and extension, but they were still waiting on business cards and hadn’t given their numbers to anyone yet. Dirk looked at the phone, vaguely alarmed, then at Todd and Farah as if he didn’t know what to do.

“You should probably answer that,” Todd said. 

“Right, right,” Dirk said, and reached for the receiver. “Hello?” There was a pause and then he exclaimed, “Adrienne, ma chérie! How are you?”

Todd hadn’t been prepared for a phone call, or Dirk’s excitement, or the accent Dirk had used when he spoke what Todd assumed was supposed to be French. Judging by the look on her face, neither had Farah. Dirk continued chattering away, mostly affirmations between long pauses. 

He held the phone away from his face for a moment, and asked Todd, “What are your thoughts on Massachusetts?”

“It’s fine, I guess,” Todd said, confused. “They have like… Dunkin’ Donuts and clam chowder.”

“Wonderful,” Dirk said, then went back to the phone. “Yes, that sounds fantastic. Tomorrow? Perfect! We’ll see you then.” He hung up, then grinned triumphantly at both Todd and Farah. “We have a case!”

*

They left the office immediately, Dirk practically dragging Todd home to their shared two-bedroom apartment down the street. He’d told Farah to keep an eye on her email before they left, something about travel plans and tickets that would need to be printed. Todd still wasn’t sure what was going on as he unlocked their door and was ushered inside.

“So we’re going to Massachusetts?” he asked, as Dirk dug their suitcases out of the front hall closet. “Why?”

“Adrienne is a good friend of mine,” Dirk said, not actually explaining anything. “She works at a university in western Massachusetts and I worked a case for her a few years back. She’s been teaching at Smith since 1932 and I helped her solve a maple syrup heist. Not the famous one, obviously, but it was still decidedly illegal.”

Todd didn’t know what part of that to touch first. He settled on asking, “How many maple syrup heists are there?” as he accepted his suitcase from Dirk.

Dirk’s suitcase, naturally, was a vaguely neon monstrosity covered in pineapples. “More than you’d think,” he said. “It took me weeks, but I did sort it out in the end. Oh, I bet it’s _beautiful_ there right now. It really is a lovely area, I stayed there for almost a year.”

From what Todd knew about Dirk, staying put anywhere for more than six months was something he just hadn’t done before settling down in Seattle. Todd obviously was thrilled he’d stayed; Dirk had never had much for a home and he and Farah and all of their friends were doing their best to make one for him. Somehow he almost felt jealous of a place that captured Dirk’s attention enough to get him to spend so much time there.

“Oh,” Todd said, shaking the feeling and dragging his suitcase towards his room. “So we’re going to go investigate like, east coast breakfasts?”

“Actually,” Dirk said, struggling with the retracting handle on his pineapple eyesore of a suitcase, “I think this one is more about trees. Or forests. I didn’t ask a whole lot of questions.” Even the luggage tag was shaped like a pineapple, and Todd was already planning on walking ten feet ahead of him at all times.

The mystery surrounding the mystery didn’t necessarily surprise Todd. “So we’re flying out to Massachusetts to meet with some old professor lady and we have no idea why?”

“Adrienne wouldn’t steer us wrong,” Dirk reassured him. “I trust her, and besides, she’s paying for everything. It’s practically a free vacation.”

Todd wasn’t as convinced as he was sure Dirk wanted him to be, but if Dirk trusted this woman, he would too. Besides, he’d never been one to turn down anything that was being given to him for free. “Alright,” he finally agreed. “Anything’s better than being stuck in the office.”

*

Unlike Dirk, who threw random clothes in his suitcase trusting that they’d be the right ones, Todd didn’t have any instinct, psychic or otherwise, for packing. He’d never been to New England before, his experience with the east coast was limited to one disaster of a spring break he’d spent on the beach in Delaware. He checked the weather and it looked like Dirk was right, it was going to be gorgeous for at least the next week. “Crisp, cool, and clear,” were the words the weather report used, and Todd wasn’t going to argue with that.

He tossed in some standards- jeans, button-ups, t-shirts- and a few jackets and hoodies to throw over them if it got cold. He shoved in a sturdier pair of boots, and after debating it internally for a second, he grabbed a similar but older pair from the front closet. If they were going to be in a forest they’d need good walking shoes, and he was almost positive Dirk didn’t own anything that fit the bill. After that it was relatively simple to add socks, boxers, his spare toothbrush, and whatever else he might need. Dirk hadn’t said how long they’d be gone, which meant he didn’t know, so Todd figured preparing enough for ten days would be adequate.

He stuck his head into the hallway to see if Dirk’s door was open and it was, the sound of the Carly Rae Jepsen song that Todd had a love/hate relationship with loud enough that Todd could hear it from his room. He knocked on Dirk’s door frame anyway before he walked in, but it was more of a habit than anything else. Dirk had made it very clear from the start that Todd was always welcome.

“Hey,” he said, sitting down on the bed next to Dirk’s open suitcase. “Need any help packing? I’m really good at folding stuff.”

Dirk laughed at the obvious joke. “I’m quite alright, but thank you, Todd,” he said. “I’m just wrapping up myself.”

“Great!” Todd said. “So, uh, did Adrienne give you any other specifics?”

“Just that we’re not to worry about lodgings. Or food. Or transportation. Money in general, really. She’s very wealthy, she’ll make sure we’re taken care of.”

“Okay,” Todd said, not really feeling any more informed, “but like… where are we going? Do you even know what airport we’re flying into?”

Dirk didn’t look up from rolling his socks. “Northampton,” he said. “The American one, obviously. It’s quite different from the English one, but they both have their charms. I imagine we’ll be flying into Connecticut, Hartford isn’t very far. We’ll be meeting with Adrienne somewhere around Smith College the day after tomorrow and following her instruction from there.”

“And you met her…”

“On a maple syrup heist,” Dirk confirmed. “Someone had broken into a local sugar house and made off with more than $20,000 in maple products.”

That sounded like an insane amount of money to be spending on syrup, but Todd still bought the generic brand at Target so he wasn’t really qualified to make that call. He shrugged it off, at least for now, and asked, “When do we leave?”

*

Farah picked them up in the company’s SUV the next day at exactly ten in the morning. She’d printed all their documents, which included plane tickets, car rental information, and confirmation for a two-night stay at the Hotel Northampton. Their flight left at noon, and between the layover, the drive from Hartford, and the time change, they’d be getting in pretty late.

“Wait, why do I have to sit in the back?” Todd asked on the way to the airport, craning his neck to look between Farah and Dirk.

Farah sighed in a way that told Todd she was going to be very happy for the peace and quiet. “Dirk gets shotgun because he submitted his expense report,” she said in her fake calm voice, the one that never fooled anyone.

Dirk laughed smugly, and Todd kicked the back of his seat. Farah swerved into the exit lane with a little more force than was strictly necessary, and the rest of the ride was more or less silent. She pulled up to the curb rather than park, and Dirk and Todd scrambled out. 

“Thanks Farah!” Todd called out as he grabbed their suitcases from the trunk. 

Dirk was talking to her through the open passengers window, tickets in hand. “Right,” he was saying, “so we’ll call you as soon as we settle in and-”

“Sounds good,” Farah interrupted. “Bye guys, fly safe!” She peeled away from the curb before Dirk or Todd could say anything else, and Todd could distinctly hear Alanis Morissette’s “You Oughta Know” pumping through the speakers as she drove away.

“I really don’t think there’s much I can do to make the fight any safer,” Dirk said distantly, watching her drive away. “It’s not like I can personally stop the plane from malfunctioning or the pilot from dying mysteriously.”

“ _Dude_ ,” Todd said, remembering for the first time why he hated flying. All the statistics about the car ride to the airport was more dangerous than the flight itself had never really made him feel any better. “Can we just like, not talk about the plane crashing?”

Dirk looked at him curiously. “Todd,” he said, “are you afraid of flying?”

“No,” Todd said, too quickly to be believed judging by Dirk’s raised eyebrows. “I just don’t love thinking about how we’re going to be traveling across literally the entire country in a tiny pressurized tube thousands of feet above the ground.” Dirk’s eyebrows raised just a tiny bit more. “Look, forget it, let’s just go.”

They were able to check in without a problem, which was surprising to Todd considering Dirk’s ticket was booked under an alias he’d never heard before. Dirk had the matching ID to go with it though, and it passed inspection at the counter and at security, so Todd did his best to act normal and not ask any questions out loud. They could talk about it later if it ended up being important.

As they walked to their gate, Todd kept up with his plan of walking ahead of Dirk to avoid being seen with him and his ugly suitcase and matching neck pillow. Todd hadn’t known about the neck pillow, or he probably would have thrown it out preemptively. He maintained a steady gait through the terminal, but halfway to their gate Dirk managed to catch up with him.

“Why are you walking so fast?” he asked, a little out of breath. “It’s not like we’re late.”

“It’s your suitcase,” Todd admitted, still refusing to look at or otherwise acknowledge it. “I don’t want to be seen with it.”

“Why not, what’s wrong with it?”

“It’s hideous.”

“Is not! It’s tropical!”

“Dirk, we’re going to New England.”

“Well your suitcase has a hole in it, maybe I’m the one who should be embarrassed.”

“I’m not the one with a neck pillow.”

Dirk scoffed at that. “It’s a long flight, Todd. You’re going to be wishing you had one before we even hit Chicago.”

That seemed to end the discussion, and Todd did slow down, but he still distanced himself from the suitcase as much as he thought he could get away with. That didn’t help him much when they got to their gate and he had to hold it so Dirk could go to the bathroom and fill up his water bottle, but at least he could comfort himself with the knowledge that he’d tried.

They boarded not long after they arrived at the gate, getting in line in zone one with the rest of first class. Todd had never flown first class before, but his excitement flagged once they got on the plane and the hiss of recirculated air reminded him that he was about to be pressurised in a tiny cylinder for several hours. He swallowed hard, and Dirk must have noticed because after he put both of their suitcases in the overhead bin, he slipped into the window seat without a word.

“You know,” he said after they’d settled, “for a few weeks I actually worked as a flight attendant.”

“I can’t imagine you’re qualified for that,” Todd said, but accepted it as the distraction it was meant to be, and smiled.

Dirk smiled back. “No really! I mean, the airline didn’t technically exist and I never set foot on a plane but I had to go through all of the training.” A flight attendant passed by as the rows behind them filled up and Dirk lowered his voice to a conspiratorial tone. “Fortunately I was never fitted for a uniform. Can you imagine? They’re dreadful.”

Todd craned his neck a little to watch the stewardess walk away. “Yeah,” he said, “I don’t know if you could pull off the pencil skirt.”

“Absolutely not,” Dirk said, with a seriousness that implied he’d actually thought about it. “I don’t have the hips for it.”

Todd laughed, and they spent the rest of the time waiting to take off in a heated discussion about the difference between a neck scarf and an ascot. Before he knew it, they were being prepped for takeoff and taxiing down the runway. He tensed a little, and Dirk lowered the shade on the window before taking his hand. Todd felt ridiculous, airplanes were a fact of modern life and as an adult he should be able to handle them, but when the wheels lifted off the tarmac his eyes were closed and he was impossibly grateful for Dirk’s hand in his.

*

Things got better once they were in the air, and Todd relaxed enough to put on some music. He zoned out a little, and at some point fell asleep, because the next thing he knew his seat back tray table was being gently lowered in front of him. He shifted and rubbed his eyes, and Dirk smiled apologetically.

“Sorry,” he said. “Didn’t mean to wake you. I figured you might want a drink so I had her get you a whiskey ginger.”

Gratefully Todd took it, strangely pleased that Dirk had remembered his non-beer alcoholic drink of choice. “Thank you,” he said, trying not to drink it all in one go.

“We’ve got about an hour to go until Chicago,” Dirk said. “We should have enough time to grab something to eat before we leave for Hartford.”

“Good,” Todd said. He wasn’t keen on spending any more time in the air than was strictly necessary. “Did you sleep at all?”

Dirk shook his head. “No,” he said, “I discovered a game for my phone that’s really quite addicting. It’s called Candy Crush and I literally cannot stop playing even though I’ve been stuck on the same level for half an hour.”

Todd laughed, familiar with the dilemma. “Here, let me help you,” he said, leaning into Dirk’s personal space to look at his phone.

They spent the rest of the flight hovering over the screen and plotting strategies until it was time for Todd to try not to have a panic attack, or worse, a pararibulitis attack, as they landed. Dirk held his hand again, and they made it safely to their gate.

*

They had exactly enough time at O’Hare to get milkshakes and chicken strips before getting some caramel popcorn to go and finding their gate. As first class passengers they were able to board right away, which in Todd’s case was more of a curse than a blessing. He watched the rows behind them fill up with growing trepidation, trying desperately to hide the shaking in his hands. Something a few rows back fell with a loud _thunk_ and Todd jumped, gripping the armrests with white knuckles.

Dirk’s hand was prying Todd’s away from the seat in an instant, wrapping around it and rubbing soothing circles into his palm. “Someone dropped their suitcase,” he said in a low, even voice, like the one someone would use to calm a spooked animal. “You’re going to be fine.”

“I hate this,” Todd said, as if it wasn’t already obvious. “If I’m in a car or on a bus or whatever and there’s a weird noise I can generally understand what it is, but if something goes wrong in the air we’re all fucked. 30,000 feet is a long way to fall when you’re on _fire _.”__

__“We’re not going to fall out of the sky,” Dirk assured him, his thumb still tracing the lines along Todd’s palm. “Besides, the universe wouldn’t have let me on this plane if it wasn’t where I’m supposed to be.”_ _

__It was a small reassurance, but it did make Todd feel somewhat better. “Dirk-” he started, but before he could finish the thought, the flight attendants started their pre-takeoff safety speech. Dirk didn’t let go of Todd’s hand until the pilot turned off the fasten seatbelt sign._ _

__*_ _

__It was a rough flight into Hartford, starting with a patch of bad turbulence followed by Todd having a small meltdown that probably would have ended in an attack if Dirk hadn’t pulled a small case of Todd’s medication out of his pocket and handed him one of his pills. Todd would ask Dirk later how long he’d been carrying around extra pararibulitis meds, but for now he settled back in his seat, begrudgingly accepted Dirk’s ugly neck pillow, and fell asleep._ _

__*_ _

__They landed without further incident, but that didn’t stop Todd from basically sprinting off the plane, thrilled to finally be back on solid ground. Outside the windows at the gate Connecticut was dark, reminding Todd of the time change._ _

__“It’s much nicer in the daytime,” Dirk said from behind him. “Not much of a view at this hour.”_ _

__Todd huffed out a sound halfway between a laugh and a sigh of relief. “Let’s get out of here,” he said, and they did, following the signs for car rentals._ _

__The car that had been rented for them was a relatively new forest green Jeep Liberty. Todd tried to object when Dirk got behind the wheel, but Dirk shut him down._ _

__“I’ve done this drive before,” he said, adjusting the mirrors. “It’s dark and you don’t know the landmarks. Besides, you’ve just been through a very taxing experience, you should relax.”_ _

__“Relax” wasn’t a word Todd had ever used in conjunction with Dirk’s driving, but reluctantly he had to admit that Dirk had a point. He knew the area better than Todd did, and if they got lost at least it wouldn’t be his fault._ _

__“Fine,” he said, fastening the seatbelt in the passenger’s seat. “But for the love of god, please use the GPS.”_ _

__*_ _

__Turning the GPS system on was unfortunately not a guarantee that Dirk would follow its instructions. Much to Todd’s dismay, he ignored it at every turn and eventually the constant repetition of the GPS saying “recalculating route” got so irritating that Todd caved and just shut it off. They were nowhere near a highway, and Dirk was playing fast and loose with the winding country roads, but Todd was still glad that at least it wasn’t an airplane._ _

__They eventually came upon lights that indicated they were entering a more populated area, and in no time at all Dirk was pulling up in front of the Hotel Northampton. The building itself was impressive, and it was lit up and glowing in the dark of the evening._ _

__Dirk dropped Todd and their bags off at the front door so he could park while Todd checked in. The hotel lobby was as impressive as the exterior; plush colonial chairs were impeccably positioned on top of rich carpets, and stunning light fixtures cast a warm glow on the amber wood accents. It was the fanciest place Todd had ever set foot in, and he was almost afraid to breathe for fear of breaking something._ _

__Carefully, he rolled the two suitcases over to the front desk, once again miffed that he got stuck holding the neon pineapple eyesore, which stood out even more in the hotel lobby. Check-in was a breeze; their arrival had clearly been expected, and Dirk joined him as the receptionist was handing him their keys._ _

__Todd checked the time on his phone. Somehow Dirk had gotten them there fifteen minutes early, and they probably still had time to order room service before the kitchens closed for the night. He was starving and exhausted, and wanted to eat something before that transitioned into hangry and annoyed._ _

__Their room was nice; colonial furniture, warm lighting, and two double beds with floral comforters. Todd threw his suitcase down next to one bed, and Dirk claimed the other before immediately climbing onto it, grabbing what must have been a menu from the bedside table and picking up the phone._ _

__He dialed, waited a beat, and Todd realized he’d never actually told Dirk that he was hungry or what he wanted to eat. Honestly though, he was fine with it, because Dirk’s hunches about food had never once been wrong and often led Todd to some of the best meals he’d ever eaten. As Dirk spoke into the receiver, Todd gestured at the bathroom to indicate that he’d be taking a shower. When Dirk gave him a thumbs-up, Todd grabbed his shower stuff out of his suitcase and went to check it out._ _

__The first thing he noticed were free bathrobes, which was super impressive and the kind of thing Dirk was really going to appreciate. The bathroom was a modern contrast to the rest of the traditional furnishings, all shiny white surfaces with chrome accents. The shower was nicer than Todd would have expected from a hotel, but then again this was a lot different than the shitty Best Westerns he was used to staying in. He ditched his shower kit after smelling the complimentary shampoo, and started the water._ _

__Hot showers were something of a personal vice for Todd. For the longest time he really hadn’t been able to afford them, because any money he spent on hot water was money that wouldn’t go to Amanda. It was a treat to be used very sparingly as part of his efforts to keep his own expenses as low as possible. This shower, however, blew the Ridgely right out of the water._ _

__The water pressure was perfect and Todd was able to get the water boiling hot in no time at all. He’d look like a lobster when he got out, but when he stepped under the spray he stopped caring. The hotel’s body wash mixed with the steam, and the entire bathroom smelled like boreal evergreen. The grime and stress of three airports, two planes, and a terrifying drive through New England countryside washed away and Todd could have stayed there for hours if not for his rumbling stomach reminding him that he hadn’t eaten dinner yet._ _

__Reluctantly, he turned the shower off, grabbing a towel and drying himself off before putting on one of the bathrobes. When he stepped out of the bathroom, he could smell the food that was waiting, but stopped short when he caught sight of what was on the wall across from him._ _

__“Dirk?” he asked, eyeing the truly unsettling portrait of a man and child warily. “What the hell is that?”_ _

__“Oh, the painting?” Dirk asked, barely even looking up from the sandwich he’d already started eating. “I suspect it’s a governor or some other politician, presumably with his child. I’m guessing it’s from not long after the American Revolution, though I highly doubt that’s the original.”_ _

__Todd was too tired and the food smelled too good for him to press the matter further, so he gave up and grabbed his plate from the tray on Dirk’s bed. The bacon ranch grilled chicken sandwich Dirk had ordered for him was incredible, especially as hungry as he was, and the two of them inhaled their dinners while discussing whether or not the painting was haunted._ _

__Ultimately, they decided they wouldn’t piss off any potential spirits by covering the frame with a towel, and Dirk did so before heading for the shower himself. They were both exhausted, so not long after that they went to bed._ _

__The room was quiet and dark and Todd could hear Dirk breathing softly in the other bed. He fell asleep in under a minute._ _

__*_ _

__Todd woke up at around ten in the morning to the clicking sound of Dirk typing furiously on his phone. They’d talked about how irritating the sound of his keyboard was to Todd, whose phone was always on silent, but apparently Dirk had turned the ringer on at some point the day before. Todd rubbed his eyes and stretched, feeling refreshed after a good night’s sleep on what might just have been the softest mattress in the world._ _

__“Good, you’re up,” Dirk said, not looking away from whatever he was typing. “Adrienne texted, she wants to meet sometime after lunch.” He continued clicking away and Todd resisted the urge to throw a pillow at him. “Are you hungry?” Dirk asked. “I’m feeling brunch-y.”_ _

__Todd was surprised to realize he was starving despite the giant meal he’d had the night before, and he remembered the brunch menu he’d seen alongside the dinner one. Brunch sounded pretty good._ _

__“Hell yeah,” he said, sitting up. “What time do they start serving it?”_ _

__Dirk chuckled. “Todd, I know this town better than I know most places. Do you really think I’m going to let us eat hotel food the entire time we’re here?”_ _

__The same tiny pang of jealousy hit Todd square in the chest when Dirk reminded him of how much time he’d spent in Northampton. It was completely irrational and probably the result of some kind of bullshit inferiority complex, so Todd suppressed it. He could ruminate about it later if he felt like it._ _

__“Alright,” he said. “What do you have in mind?”_ _

__*_ _

__They got dressed and headed out. The breakfast place Dirk knew was only a five minute walk from the hotel and it was already shaping up to be a beautiful day, so they took their time. They wandered along Main Street, window shopping and stopping to look at anything interesting. By the time they made it to the restaurant, Todd was ready to eat._ _

__Todd got a breakfast bowl with cheese, salsa, and potatoes, and Dirk ordered something called “The Fire Drill” without even looking at the menu, showing the confidence of someone who’d eaten it many times before. When it arrived, the eggs seemed to have an alarming amount of jalapeños on them, but Dirk dug in without pause. Todd stole a few bites from across the table, and he could see why Dirk liked it._ _

__The food was, as promised, absolutely incredible. Todd was pretty sure he’d never be able to eat eggs again without resenting them for not being as good as what he was currently eating. When they were done, Dirk paid the bill with the company credit card, and pocketed his copy of the receipt, giving Todd a meaningful look._ _

__“Expense report,” he said smugly, and Todd rolled his eyes._ _

__“Whatever, you’re just in it for shotgun privileges,” he said. “Should we go?”_ _

__Dirk checked the time on his phone and said, “We have a bit of time, do you mind if we stop at the bookstore? It’s on the way.”_ _

__Todd still didn’t know what they were on the way to, but sometimes it was easier not to ask. “Sure,” he said. “What kind of bookstore?”_ _

__Raven Used Books was a used bookstore just off the main stretch, a small sign with a raven on it making it stand out. Todd might not have even noticed it was there if Dirk hadn’t brought him right to it and led him inside. It was a tight fit, the rows of bookshelves pushed close together to make room for books in every genre Todd had heard of, and even some that he hadn’t. Dirk made off for a far corner, and Todd setted on browsing._ _

__He was looking at a shelf of vintage sci-fi anthologies, and had a copy of “The Greatest Science Fiction and Fantasy Of The Year” from 1958 in his hand when Dirk joined him._ _

__“I’m all set,” Dirk said. “Unless you want to look more?”_ _

__“I think I’m good,” Todd said, moving to put the book back._ _

__“Excellent,” Dirk said, taking it out of Todd’s hand. At the register he put Todd’s book on the counter along with the two he’d picked out. He paid with the company card again, pocketed the receipt with a pointed look, and they stepped back out onto the street._ _

__“Bridge Street Cemetery is about a fifteen minute walk, so we should probably get going,” Dirk said. “We’ll meet Adrienne there.”_ _

__“Cemetery?” Todd asked, following Dirk back down Main Street. “Isn’t that a little… morbid?”_ _

__“Not at all!” Dirk said cheerily. “It’s very old and quite historical. Pre-dates the American Revolution, even. I mean, it’s really quite quaint how you Americans see the 1600s as ‘old’ but it’s still interesting. It’s not like there will be skulls or dead bodies hanging around anywhere. At this point it’s really just very old graves.”_ _

__Todd considered asking Dirk what the hell kind of cemeteries he’d been to that were just littered with skulls, but thought better of it. They made their way down Main Street and eventually away from the busy part of town, gushing over their breakfasts and laughing at the story of the time Dirk had dropped an entire plate of eggs into the lap of a stranger at the table next to him, which of course had led to a vital clue in the maple syrup case._ _

__Dirk swung the bag from the bookstore lazily at his side, and Todd noted how at ease he was. It had taken a long time for him to look like that in Seattle, and Todd wondered how long it had taken for him to be comfortable in Massachusetts. From what he’d seen so far, he understood why Dirk had loved Northampton so much. It was a bustling city with the feel of a much smaller town, and it was chock-full of bright colors, weird stores, and good food. He wondered why Dirk had left in the first place, but didn’t ask._ _

__Eventually they reached the cemetery, and it didn’t take long for them to find Adrienne. She was crouched down in front of a headstone that was worn down to the point of being illegible, taking close-up pictures with a camera that was probably worth more than Todd’s last car. She looked to be about in her late-40s, which clashed with the knowledge that she’d been teaching at Smith for more than eighty years, but when it came to Dirk’s friends, Todd knew better than to question it._ _

__“Hello Dirk,” she said, without looking up from her camera._ _

__“Adrienne,” Dirk said. “Comment ça va? Tu m’as beaucoup manqué!”_ _

__Adrienne sighed and stood up. “We’ve talked about this, Dirk,” she said, her accent softened by decades of speaking English in the US. “Please, for the love of god, stop speaking French. It makes my heart hurt.”_ _

__Dirk blushed and nodded, but she embraced him anyway, kissing both of his cheeks before turning to Todd and extending her hand so he could shake it._ _

__He did, and said, “I’m Todd, I’m Dirk’s-”_ _

__“I know who you are,” she said with a look that Todd couldn’t quite decipher. “Dirk has told me all about you.”_ _

__Something flickered pleasantly underneath Todd’s sternum at the idea of Dirk telling his friends about him. “Oh,” he said, the surprise evident in his voice. “I mean, he told me about you too, but I was expecting-”_ _

__“Someone old,” Adrienne finished for him bluntly, but with a smile. “Let me tell you my secret, Todd. Drink one glass of red wine every day and avoid men whenever possible. You’ll live forever.” Todd wasn’t sure that was a scientifically sound solution, but it seemed to be working for Adrienne, so what did he know. She let go of his hand and gestured for them to follow her._ _

__They weaved through the headstones, and Dirk finally asked, “What’s the case? Whatever it is, we’ll solve it with arguable efficiency.”_ _

__“I know,” Adrienne said. “I’ve read your[website](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/444687562406100992/470092282784251906/DGHDA-Website-2018.png).” Todd hadn’t known they even had a website. “A friend of mine, Martha, needs your help,” Adrienne continued. “There have been arsons around her home, and the fire department doesn’t understand what’s happening. The fires, they’re… strange.”_ _

__“How so?” Dirk asked, already completely rapt._ _

__Adrienne seemed to struggle to find the right description. “They’re not natural,” was what she settled on. “The area still has fire lookout towers left over from the lumber industry, and they’ve been going up in flames one by one. The fires themselves are bizarre, she says they light up with colors like when you put a copper pipe in your campfire.”_ _

__“Have they found any chemicals at the scene?” Todd asked, and Dirk beamed at him for asking such a good investigative question._ _

__“No,” Adrienne said, leading them out of the cemetery and onto a side street. “They’re mostly focused on how the fires are so contained. Everything within ten yards of the tower will burn, but nothing else.”_ _

__“So it’s like a controlled burn?” Dirk asked, clearly already fascinated by the problem._ _

__“More precise than that,” Adrienne said. “If a tree is only halfway inside the radius, only that half will catch fire. It doesn’t spread to the rest of the tree at all, and it’s exact down to the inch. No one can figure out how one side of a tree can be blackened while the other isn’t even singed.”_ _

__Todd had to admit that this case was already shaping up to be pretty interesting. “How many fires have there been so far?”_ _

__“Three,” Adrienne said. “They start not long after midnight and put themselves out all at once by dawn.”_ _

__“Definitely not natural,” Dirk said, the three of them turning onto a pedestrian path._ _

__“Martha owns an inn north of Lenox,” Adrienne said. “It’s popular this time of year because of tourists coming for the foliage, but we’ve arranged for you to stay there while you investigate. She’ll provide you with anything you need.”_ _

__They stepped out onto a bridge that ran across what Todd assumed was the Connecticut River based on the maps that Dirk had ignored. They stopped halfway across to take in the view. As he looked out over the water, he had to admit that it really was beautiful. Splashes of color were reflected in the water, and they were surrounded by the reds and oranges of fallen leaves. Gentle rolling mountains were visible in the distance, covered in the same pallet as the leaves at their feet._ _

__Secretly, Todd still preferred autumn in the Pacific Northwest, where the warm colors of fall were shot through with evergreen trees and the snow-covered peak of Mt. Rainier stood in stark contrast to the hues below. Dirk leaned against the railing next to him, and Todd resisted the urge to ask which one he liked better. It wasn’t a competition, regardless of how Todd kept comparing the two cities. He caught Adrienne looking at him sideways, and cleared his throat awkwardly._ _

__“When do we leave?” he asked awkwardly._ _

__“Tomorrow,” Adrienne said. “The drive isn’t far but you should rest for another night. You’ve come a long way and should catch up on some sleep.”_ _

__“Thank you,” Dirk said. “Our accommodations have been more than generous, but I do however have one small question-”_ _

__“The painting,” Adrienne finished, and they all laughed. “I have been trying for years to get them to take it down, but it’s a distant relative of the owner and he cannot be swayed. Don’t worry, though. I’m 85% sure it’s not haunted.”_ _

__That didn’t really make Todd feel any better, but at least they were leaving soon. “So what now?” he asked._ _

__“Tea,” said Dirk and Adrienne at the same time._ _

__*_ _

__They walked back into town until Adrienne led them into a teahouse. Dirk lit up the second they were inside, and Todd couldn’t help but reflect his smile. Much to Dirk’s dismay, Todd had never caught onto tea, insisting that every kind Dirk made him try tasted exactly the same. He couldn’t help but feel a little left out as Dirk and Adrienne discussed the menu, but fortunately Dirk ordered for him. He had no idea what was in the cup that was handed to him, but it didn’t really taste any different from anything else he’d tried._ _

__Dirk was looking at him expectantly though, so he lied and said, “I like this one!”_ _

__“Perfect,” Dirk said, practically bouncing up to get some to bring home with them. Adrienne looked at Todd over the rim of her cup like she knew he was full of shit, but she didn’t say anything._ _

__They parted ways in front of the Academy of Music, and Adrienne pulled a folder out of her bag, handing it to Dirk. “This is everything I know about the case,” she said. “I don’t doubt your abilities, but please be careful. I don’t know what you’re walking into.”_ _

__“Well,” Dirk said, “blindly walking into danger is somewhat of a specialty of mine.”_ _

__Adrienne laughed and pulled Dirk in for a hug, kissing both of his cheeks. Todd reached out for another handshake, but she did the same to him, kissing his cheeks before pausing next to his ear. “You too, Todd Brotzman,” she said, voice low enough that Dirk wouldn’t hear. “Be careful.”_ _

__Todd wasn’t sure what she meant by that, but she squeezed his shoulders and stepped back, waving goodbye before heading towards the Smith College campus._ _

__“Are all of your friends so weird?” Todd asked._ _

__“I’m not sure,” Dirk said. “I don’t have many and I see them so rarely that it’s hard to tell. You’re definitely weird though, so maybe it’s true.”_ _

__Todd laughed and smacked his arm, but there was no malice behind it. “Let’s just check out what she gave us so we’re not totally clueless when we get there.”_ _

__“Then dinner?” Dirk asked, looking like he already knew where to take them and couldn’t wait to show Todd._ _

__Todd had eaten better food in the past 24 hours than he had in months, so it was hard to disagree._ _

__*_ _

__They ended up back in their room at The Hotel Northampton, sitting opposite each other on Dirk’s bed with the folder open between them. It contained directions to the Autumn Inn, contact information for Martha DuBois, and printouts of local news articles on the arsons. The glossy 5x7 crime scene photos were too high-quality to have been printed from anything other than the originals. Adrienne wasn’t kidding, it looked pretty bizarre._ _

__They flipped through the pages; interviews with confused firemen, grainy eyewitness camera phone pictures of flames laced with blue and pink and green, maps of the towers covering western Massachusetts and into New York and Vermont. It was a lot of information to take in at once. Todd rubbed his temples before looking up at Dirk._ _

__“What did you have in mind for dinner?”_ _

__*  
Dirk insisted on cocktails first, dragging Todd into something he called “The Tunnel,” which sounded vaguely ominous to Todd but turned out to be quite nice. The Tunnel Bar was quite literally built into an old tunnel, complete with original 1896 brickwork and a bar that looked straight out of a history book. They were seated in plush chairs that seemed better suited to a drawing room than a bar, and Todd was immediately overwhelmed by the drinks menu._ _

__Again, Dirk showed a kind of comfort with his surroundings that Todd rarely saw elsewhere. Before he knew what was happening, Dirk was drinking something called a Hemingway Daiquiri that was pink and garnished with lime, and Todd was handed a Corpse Reviver, complete with absinthe. The drinks were amazing and expensive and all of Todd’s hipster dreams come true. He wished he could pack the entire place up in his suitcase and take it home with him._ _

__“I knew you’d like it here,” Dirk said. “When I found out we were coming to Northampton I thought of you immediately. It’s different but nice, like you.”_ _

__Todd was already a little flushed; his drink was the strongest he’d ever been served in public and he could feel it hitting his bloodstream and warming him from the inside out. “Thanks,” he said, more pleased than the compliment really warranted. “I’m glad I’m here.”_ _

__They finished their drinks and Dirk led them down the street to a pizza place a few blocks away. It was a polar opposite of the bar; while The Tunnel had been lush and luxurious, this was small, clearly family-owned and popular with locals. They split an order of garlic bread and a house special pizza with their beer and Todd had to admit it was the best pizza he’d ever had._ _

__*_ _

__They walked back to the hotel under the streetlights, the autumn chill sinking through Todd’s jacket as a reminder of the time of year. It wasn’t far, just a few blocks, and they walked in comfortable silence. As they neared the hotel, Todd couldn’t help but ask the question he’d been thinking about all day._ _

__“You really loved it here, didn’t you?”_ _

__“I did,” Dirk responded. “This town is weird and colorful and interesting, and it was the first place a case brought me to that I really liked. I got my yellow jacket a few blocks from here. As you know, Adrienne is lovely and she made sure I was well taken care of. I’d previously been living in a miserable apartment outside of Boston so it was a really nice change.”_ _

__Todd wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to his next question, but asked it anyway. “Why did you leave?”_ _

__“The stream of creation,” Dirk said simply. “The universe wanted me to leave so I did. I haven’t been back since.”_ _

__The total acceptance with which Dirk tolerated the universe throwing his life into chaos would never cease to surprise Todd. For Dirk it had always been a fact, the only constant he’d ever known, and while Todd had seen glimpses of despair when things went sideways, ultimately Dirk embraced his status as a leaf being swept wherever creation wanted him. Todd guiltily wondered how Dirk would react to being swept away from Seattle._ _

__They were almost to the hotel and Todd could still feel the buzz of the liquor and absinthe and beer from the pizza place, and they made him a little more honest than he usually was, and a little braver, too._ _

__“Would you ever want to move back here?” he asked._ _

__Dirk looked at him like he’d sprouted an extra head. “Of course not,” he said, as if it should have been obvious. “Seattle’s my home now, and I don’t plan on leaving.”_ _

__Todd grinned, the insecure voice in his head going quiet. He stepped back to let Dirk open the door to the hotel lobby, and it occurred to him that even if the stream of creation did take Dirk away, he’d probably go with him. Dirk was his best friend, and he wasn’t going to let something as inconsequential as the universe get in the way of their that._ _

__*_ _

__The mild buzz Todd had been feeling dissipated in the shower he took when they got back to their room. He practically boiled himself alive, but the water pressure was so good that he couldn’t bring himself to get out until the last possible second. He dried off and walked back into the room, giving the still-covered painting a wide berth._ _

__Dirk was sitting cross-legged on his bed in front of his laptop, one of the hotel bathrobes thrown on over his undershirt and boxers. “It’s a little over an hour to Lenox,” he said, turning the computer so Todd could see the map on the screen, “and another 20 minutes to the inn. Check in is at noon, so we should head out around ten, I think.”_ _

__“Sounds good to me,” Todd said, “but I’m driving this time.”_ _

__Dirk scoffed but eventually agreed on the condition that he got to control the music. His typical choices weren’t quite Todd’s style, but if the alternative was Dirk careening down country roads at twice the speed limit, he’d take it. They weren’t going to solve anything if they drove off a mountain. They put the laptop away not long after that, agreeing that they should get some sleep because they didn’t know what the days ahead might throw at them._ _

__The lights were turned off, and once again Todd let the quiet and the dark and the sound of Dirk’s breathing relax him until he fell asleep._ _


	2. II

They checked out and hit the road the next morning. Todd got behind the wheel before Dirk could object, and mercifully was allowed to drive. The Autumn Inn wasn’t in a town exactly; it was located off a rural road somewhere vaguely north of Lenox and was small enough to not even be on Google Maps. Todd realized belatedly that driving meant he’d be relying on Dirk to navigate using whatever directions Adrienne had given them, but it was still better than the alternative.

It was a little over an hour to Lenox and another 20 minutes to the inn. Dirk used the car’s bluetooth to play whatever Spotify playlist he’d composed with what Todd assumed was in Dirk’s daily mix after a week of exclusively listening to Demi Lovato.

Dirk took the opportunity to flip through the rest of the folder. Aside from the crime scene photos and articles about the arsons, there was background on the area and the towers themselves. There was even a map included; markers of partially standing or still functional towers spread out across Massachusetts, Vermont, and New York. The ones that had been burned down were circled in red.

“What I don’t understand,” Dirk said, “is why _just_ the towers? Their whole thing was detecting forest fires, so I get why you’d want them gone if you were _starting_ one, but nothing in the actual forest is burning.”

“And the towers aren’t even operational,” Todd added. “Even if there was a forest fire they wouldn’t have an impact. You can’t even climb half of them, I don’t get why they’re the target.”

Dirk hummed thoughtfully. “It says here that they were constructed during the boom of the lumber industry. Maybe it’s some sort of environmental protest? Stop the deforestation, save the trees, etcetera.” 

“Maybe,” Todd said. “That would explain why the trees stayed mostly safe.”

Dirk looked down at the folder curiously, and then said off-handedly,” “Oh, this is our exit.”

Todd swore and flipped the blinker on. He was in the left lane and had to merge all the way across the thankfully empty highway in a move that probably would have gotten him pulled over if anyone else had been on the road. He made the exit, but barely.

“Thanks for that,” he said, annoyed that Dirk’s navigating was already causing problems.

“Of course,” Dirk said cheerily, either not getting Todd’s sarcasm or choosing to ignore it. “Left here,” he instructed, fortunately with an adequate amount of time for Todd to make the turn.

Fortunately Dirk’s instructions improved for the rest of the ride, and Todd was able to relax enough to take in the scenery. The farther they drove from the highway, the more beautiful it got. They wound through country roads and passed by farmhouses and barns that Todd suspected were probably older than the state of Washington. They were surrounded by color on all sides, and the mountains loomed larger the further west they drove. It was different from what he was used to; gentle and rolling in contrast to the steep slopes of Mt. Rainier.

He didn’t miss the serene look on Dirk’s face as he looked out the window whenever he wasn’t reading directions. They passed a church, then wound down a narrow road around a mountain lake and crossed a covered bridge. The slopes of the mountains started to envelop them as they got closer to the inn, and the roads got a little rougher. 

Even out of the corner of his eye, Todd could tell that Dirk was having trouble tearing his eyes away, even for the few seconds it took to tell Todd where to turn next. It was almost a relief when they pulled into the tiny gravel parking lot in front of the Autumn Inn. When they walked in the front door they found themselves in a small drawing room with a few chairs scattered around small tables, and a desk by the door that instructed them to ring the accompanying bell for service.

Dirk tapped it lightly, and a few seconds later a woman emerged from what Todd could tell was the kitchen. She was exactly what he expected the owner of an inn to look like, with short brown hair shot through with gray and an apron complete with frills and a print of deer.

“You must be Dirk,” she said without missing a beat, opening her arms to give him a hug before doing the same to Todd.

“I take it you’re Martha?” Dirk asked, with a huge grin that told Todd he was already prepared to be instant friends with this woman.

“Of course, of course,” she said. “Come in, please.” She glanced at the clock above the desk and said, “I’m afraid you’re a bit early and we haven’t had a chance to flip your room yet. I’ll put someone right on it, but until then can I get you anything?”

Todd shook his head, but Dirk said, “I wouldn’t mind some tea if you’ve got any.”

Martha’s eyes lit up. “Have I got tea? I have a supply big enough to survive the end of the world. Here, come with me, I’ll show you.”

Dirk looked questioningly at Todd, who gestured for him to go with her. Glad to avoid any tea, he stayed in the drawing room and looked around a bit before sitting down in one of the comfortable chairs by the fireplace. It wasn’t lit, but a smoky smell lingered, and Todd suspected they got a fire going in the evenings.

The soft sound of someone delicately clearing her throat behind him startled him a little, and he turned to find a girl standing somewhat awkwardly behind by the chair next to him.

“Do you mind if I join you?” she asked. She was cute, maybe a few years younger than Todd, with long dark hair draped gently over her left shoulder.

“Oh, yeah, I mean, of course,” Todd stumbled, surprised by the unexpected but not unwelcome company.

“Thanks,” she said, sitting down. “I don’t want to be weird or anything but I’m here working on my thesis and for the past two weeks the only other guests have been foreign tourists and old people. I’ve been dying for someone to talk to.”

Todd definitely didn’t mind talking to her. “It’s cool, he said. “The guy I came in with and I have been travelling together for three days, and don’t get me wrong, he’s great, but variety is a relief.”

The girl laughed and said, “So he’s your-” right as Todd said, ”I’m Todd, by the way.”

They both laughed and she extended her hand. “I’m Rowen,” she said, “Nice to meet you.”

Todd shook her hand, and noticed the markings on her wrists and palms. “Cool tats,” Todd said, and Rowen withdrew her hand.

“Thanks,” she said. She held up her hand and pushed her sleeve down slightly so Todd could check it out in the midday light. Fire spilled down her forearm like ink, the subtle orange flames spreading across her skin almost like a watercolor. The tattoo wrapped around her wrist and dripped down her arm, and the flames seemed fluid, like if Todd turned his head they’d rearrange themselves while he wasn’t looking. It was an impressive piece, one that would have taken hours of meticulous attention. 

“I had a wild phase in undergrad where I felt so different from everyone else that I felt the need to announce it to the world. I used to have a lot of piercings too, which fortunately was a phase I grew out of, but I don’t mind these.”

Todd laughed and leaned in closer so he could see better. “I get it,” he said, “I always felt like such an outsider in my own life and didn’t even start to figure it out until a few years ago.”

“Is that when-” Rowen gestured to the kitchen where Dirk had disappeared, “-you guys met?”

“Sort of,” Todd said, distracted by the lines of color stretching down Rowen’s forearm. “I resisted it at first, but everything worked out in the end.”

Rowen put her arm down and nodded knowingly, but Todd didn’t know what it was that she seemed so sure of. “Well you guys picked a good place to visit,” she said. “This area is really progressive so no one is going to give you two any trouble for being together.”

“Uh,” Todd said, not sure they were talking about the same thing.

Dirk, with his impeccable timing, chose that moment to emerge from the kitchen with a steaming mug in his hand.

“Excellent news, Todd!” he said as Martha joined him. “Martha upgraded our room! Apparently Adrienne didn’t tell her that we’re together, which is so silly. We came in the the same car and everything!”

“ _Uhhh_ ,” Todd said, some of the pieces falling into place as Rowen cooed next to him.

“You guys are so cute,” she said, standing up. “I’ll see you around, Todd.” She winked at him and walked away.

Todd watched her go helplessly. “Uh,” he repeated, clearing his throat and looking back at Dirk. “Together?”

“Duh,” said Dirk. “It’s not like we came separately.”

“I insist,” Martha said, grabbing two brass keys out of the desk by the front door. Dirk took them before Todd could object. “I’ll leave you to it,” she said. “Please, enjoy.”

She was gone in an instant, leaving a lingering smell of maple behind her. Todd looked between Dirk and the keys in his hand, vaguely aware of what had happened but not quite believing it.

Unfazed, Dirk headed for the stairs. “Are you coming?” he asked.

Todd didn’t know what else to do but follow him.

*

It was immediately obvious upon walking into their room that it was a honeymoon suite.

The king-sized bed was the main feature, taking up a third of the room with its wooden headboard and crisp navy blue sheets. There was an ice bucket on one nightstand with a bottle of what Todd assumed was champagne, and an honest-to-god bouquet of roses on the other side. Todd knew he might never find out how Martha had pulled it all together so quickly, but somewhere in the back of his mind he was impressed. 

Still, suspicions confirmed, Todd groaned. “Dirk, we can’t stay here,” he said. “They think we’re together.” Dirk looked like he wanted to interject so Todd emphasized, “Like, _together_ together. They think we’re gay.”

“I mean, I am gay,” Dirk said, looking bemused. “Wait, did you not know that?”

Equally bemused, Todd said, “I guess I never thought about it.”

Dirk’s face fell a little bit before he schooled it into a more neutral expression. “Is that a problem?” he asked nervously.

“No!” was Todd’s immediate, reflexive reply. “Definitely not. I like, support you and stuff, I’m just mad at myself for not knowing. You’re my best friend and I totally missed it.”

Visibly relieved, Dirk smiled. “Well, it’s not like my love life has been thriving lately. It’s easy to miss.”

“So…” Todd said, gesturing around the room. “What are we going to do about this?”

“I say we stay,” Dirk said. “Martha went to all this trouble, and honestly a vacationing couple is more convincing than two straight dudes on a platonic leaf-peeping tour. Unless you’re not comfortable with that, which is totally okay.”

Todd had to admit that Dirk had a point about their cover, and the last thing he wanted was for Dirk to think anything had changed between them.

“Let’s do it,” Todd said, grabbing a chocolate covered strawberry from the heart-shaped box on the desk next to him. 

“Excellent,” Dirk said. “I’ve always wanted to be an actor.”

*

Sharing a king-sized bed with Dirk wasn’t really a problem; they’d been trapped together in much tighter and much less comfortable spaces before, with the added bonus of being high on adrenaline and afraid for their lives. It really wasn’t a big deal, and when Todd woke up the next morning, Dirk wasn’t even next to him.

The shower was running, and Todd was a little envious that Dirk had gotten there first. The bathroom had clearly been recently renovated and made the Hotel Northampton look pathetic by comparison. It was a weird contrast to the rest of the rustic inn, but this was the honeymoon suite after all. The fact that there was also a jacuzzi tub big enough for two people was something Todd compartmentalized and chose not to think about.

Dirk emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. “That really is incredible,” he said, pulling clothes out of his suitcase. “Do you think Amanda could do her portal thing so we can bring it back to Seattle with us?”

Todd had spaced out for a second, so there was a short pause while he snapped back to reality, a little confused as to where his mind had gone. “I don’t think it works like that,” he said. It was an unfortunate truth, so he planned on taking as much advantage of the facilities as he could.

“I’m gonna-” he said, climbing out of bed and heading towards the shower. 

“Yes, of course,” Dirk said, a little muffled from where he was pulling on his undershirt. “Don’t be too long though, Martha is making breakfast.”

*

Apparently three homemade meals every day and as many snacks as they could eat were included in whatever package Adrienne had set up for them, and the kitchen smelled amazing. Todd had joined Dirk after he got dressed, surprised to see Dirk in a deep blue-green cable-knit sweater instead of one of his usual insane jackets. There were buttons at the collar and a hood hanging down his back, and it looked so soft that Todd had to resist the urge to reach out and touch it. It was strange, not in a bad way, but so far from what he was used to that Todd almost forgot to pay attention to breakfast.

They’d opted to eat at a small table in the kitchen itself rather than the dining room so they could talk to Martha as she cooked and get a feel for the area. Todd’s stomach was already rumbling when Martha set two plates down in front of them, with a third for herself so she could join them. She’d told them about their breakfast as she made it; something with shredded potatoes and cheese and eggs pressed and cooked in a waffle iron. It was the best thing Todd had ever eaten before he’d even taken his first bite. As he shoveled food into his mouth, Dirk stayed decidedly more focused.

“Martha,” he said between bites, “how did you come to be here? We’re a bit off the beaten path, why not settle a little closer to a town?”

“My family has owned this land since the first of the DuBois family came over from France,” she said. “Things came and went; there was a Puritan settlement not far from here for a hundred years or so, and the lumber industry stayed around for a while. About 20 years ago when things were quiet again I decided to set up an inn as a small place for people to stay out in nature. Fall, of course, is our busiest time, but we get skiers in the winter and hikers in the summer, so business stays pretty steady.”

Todd could see how a place like the Autumn Inn would be popular year-round. “Have the arsons affected you or your guests at all?” he asked.

Martha shook her head. “The towers are obscure enough that most people don’t even know they’re there, let alone about the fires. Still, I absolutely hate them, why destroy something obsolete and risk the local wildlife like that?”

Dirk nodded sympathetically. “We’re going to find out,” he said, “but first I’m going to do these dishes.”

Todd looked down and realized he’d already finished his breakfast. The look on Martha’s face as Dirk took the dishes was a combination of shocked and pleased, and Todd had a feeling it had been a long time since anyone else had offered to do the dishes for her. It was amazing to Todd how fast Dirk had gotten into Martha’s good graces considering how long it had taken Todd to even like him. It seemed having actual friends had been improving his people skills.

They’d decided to check out the Lenox Mountain Fire Tower first, it was the closest to the inn and the first one to burn down. Martha insisted on sending them off with cinnamon apple chips and maple sugar cookies in case they got hungry, a gesture Todd definitely appreciated.

Dirk somehow ended up driving again, but did a little better without a GPS to ignore. Todd held the map and directed them north to where the first fire had been started, and they knew they’d found the right place when they pulled up to the crumbling wreckage of what had once been a tower.

Martha and Adrienne hadn’t been kidding about the precision of the fire; the charred ground formed a perfect circle around the tower. Todd poked at a branch that was partially singed with a straight line splitting it in half.

“What the hell could do this?” he asked. “I mean there’s arson but this is like, advanced placement arson. It’s different.”

“Magic maybe?” Dirk asked, reaching down to touch the ground lightly. “The way the fires put themselves out doesn’t seem natural either.”

There was a time when Todd would have scoffed at the idea of magic, but after time travel and pocket dimensions he wasn’t willing to rule anything out. There was magic in Wendimoor, so why not in Massachusetts? Given what was in front of him, it certainly seemed like it could be magical.

“The fires last from midnight to dawn,” Todd said, “and it looks like they go up in flames all at once. You’d need more than just lighter fluid to do that, I mean serious stuff. Stronger than gasoline for sure, but I have no idea what that would be.”

Dirk looked up at the crumbling remains of the tower. “I don’t smell any chemicals,” he said. “Maybe we can ask Amanda? She and the Rowdy 3 seem like they’re having a lot of success torching those senators’ cars. Plus, they might know what could make flames colorful.”

Todd laughed, reminded of Amanda’s new passion for being a vigilante. They never hurt anyone, but minor arson, property damage, and dramatic graffiti had become their entertainment after they’d smashed in the windows on Ted Cruz’s luxury SUV. She didn’t answer her phone much these days, but it wouldn’t hurt to try to get her opinion.

They decided to split up and search the surrounding woods for potential clues. Todd didn’t have any luck, mostly because he didn’t know what poison ivy looked like and was afraid of touching it, but Dirk emerged from behind a bush triumphantly brandishing the remnants of a partially burned notebook. He and Todd opened it eagerly, only to be disappointed when the pages inside were mostly illegible through the soot. A few pages survived, but they didn’t make any sense.

“Is that Latin?” Todd asked, squinting at the notebook as if moving closer to it would somehow make the writing make sense.

“I have no idea,” Dirk said excitedly. He was the only person Todd had ever met who was elated to not know something.

Todd shuffled his feet, kicking the ashes aside to reveal fresh dirt underneath. “This isn’t exactly scorched earth,” he said, kicking away more ash. “For a fire that lasted hours it didn’t really burn that deep.”

“Maybe we can find some answers in this,” Dirk said. 

*

Back at the inn they settled on a couch in the drawing room, Dirk’s computer open and resting on his lap. They were trying to find examples of old alphabets; the symbols in the notebook didn’t match any letters they knew. Half an hour in, Rowen emerged from the dining room.

“Hey guys,” she said, and Todd was too distracted by her arrival to notice Dirk slipping the notebook behind a pillow.

“Rowen, hey,” Todd said, waving a little awkwardly. She was looking at Dirk expectantly and Todd realized they’d never been introduced. “This is Dirk,” he said, “my, uh-”

“Boyfriend,” Dirk finished for him with remarkable confidence. He wound his arm around Todd’s waist and added, “We’re here for our anniversary. Three years, can you believe it?”

“That’s amazing,” Rowen said. “Your accent is so cool, are you from England?”

Dirk nodded. “Originally, yes. I couldn’t quite bring myself to go back and leave this one behind,” he said, tugging Todd closer. Todd had always been a great liar but it was a new look on Dirk, who didn’t usually take well to improv. All Todd could do was play along. 

Rowen beamed at them. “You two are so cute.”

“That’s us,” Todd said, voice cracking a little over the words. “Cute boyfriends, definitely. Boyfriends.”

Dirk squeezed him again, this time with the clear message to shut the hell up.

“Darling,” Dirk said, and something swooped in Todd’s stomach at the unexpected endearment. He thought he’d be used to surprises after being friends with Dirk for so long, but apparently not. When he snapped out of it he heard Dirk finish, “-we should probably get going to lunch, right Todd?”

Todd cleared his throat awkwardly. “Uh, yeah,” he said. “Lunch sounds good.”

“I’ll leave you to it,” Rowen said, with the kind of expression Todd would usually associate with someone holding a puppy.

*

They didn’t have lunch at the inn, deciding instead on giving Martha a break in favor of checking out a cafe closer to town. It served a dual purpose; they got to look around the area more, and Dirk got to order the pumpkin pie crêpes he’d been fantasizing about since he saw them on Yelp. Todd ordered them too because it was fall in New England and he figured he might as well go full native.

Between bites they looked over the map again. There didn’t seem to be much of a pattern with the arsons, but there hadn’t been many fires and it was going to be hard to determine a pattern with the little data they had. Todd suggested looking to see if there was a difference between the sites of the functional towers and the ones that were no longer operational. 

“Mmm,” Dirk agreed around his last mouthful of crêpe. “But first I think we should hike up this ridge,” he said, pointing to the map. “There’s a path I was reading about that would give us a good view.”

Todd groaned, not fond of hiking. “Fine,” he agreed reluctantly, “but you’re wearing the shoes I brought for you. I don’t want to hear you complaining about blisters for the next week.”

“Excellent,” Dirk said, bouncing in his seat a little. “I’ve never been on a hike, it sounds wonderful.”

*

They didn’t even make it a quarter of a mile into their hike before turning around and getting the car. The path was more of a road anyway; it had obviously been used by other vehicles and with four-wheel drive they had no problem getting to the summit.

“Wow,” Dirk said as they got out of the car and saw the view. It was a picture-perfect panorama, like something off a postcard or a travel website. Todd resented it immediately.

“So what are we looking for?” Todd asked after another moment of admiring the scenery.

“Nothing.”

“What?”

“We’re not looking for anything,” Dirk confirmed. “I just thought it would be nice to put down the back seat and open the trunk and read out here for a while.”

Todd was pretty sure there were better things they could be doing, but Dirk looked so pleased with his idea that Todd couldn’t say no. “Okay,” he agreed, “but I don’t have anything to read.”

Dirk held up a finger to indicate that Todd should wait, and pulled his backpack out of the back seat. In it were their books from The Raven, and Todd felt like he should have known that Dirk would have seen this coming. He grabbed his sci-fi anthology and popped the trunk.

It wasn’t much work to put the seats down and spread out a quilted blanket Dirk had borrowed from the inn. Propped up on their backpacks they could see the entire view if they just looked over the pages. An occasional autumn breeze would drift through the open trunk, but it was pleasant, not cold. Todd had worked through two short stories and was starting a third when Dirk scoffed next to him, clearly offended by something he was reading.

“That,” he said, visibly appalled, “is decidedly _not_ how nobility works.”

“What?”

“Well you see, in this book there’s a duke, and-”

“No,” Todd interrupted, “what are you reading?” He tilted the book in Dirk’s hand so he could see the cover. It was called “The Duke and His Stable Boy” and featured a shirtless man in front of a castle. “Is this _porn?_ ”

“No!” Dirk said a little too quickly, snatching his book back. “It’s a _romance_ , and obviously not a historically accurate one at that. I’m tempted to not finish it on principle.”

Todd wasn’t sure how to deal with this. “Dude,” he said, “everyone knows that ‘romance’ is just code for erotica. I just-” he spluttered over his words a little bit, “I don’t- what?”

A blush was creeping up from under Dirk’s collar and onto his face. “Well I think it’s romantic,” he sniffed, neatly marking his place in the book before closing it. “Even if a duke during that time period wouldn’t have had _nearly_ that much legislative power.”

“It’s fine,” Todd said, turning back to his book. He couldn’t quite name what he was feeling, but it was somewhere between flustered and bewildered.

Dirk looked at the book in his hands, then back at Todd. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” Dirk said quietly. “I just thought since you _knew…_ ”

Oh shit, Dirk thought it was a gay thing. “No!” Todd was quick to interrupt. It was definitely some kind of thing, but Todd didn’t know what it was. He was sure it wasn’t Dirk’s fault though, and it definitely not because it was gay. “I mean,” he said, “I was just surprised. You can read whatever you want.”

Dirk smiled in a way that Todd knew meant he felt better, but wasn’t completely reassured. “Do you want to go?” he asked.

“No,” Todd said, and he meant it. “Let’s stay for a little while, I’m having fun.”

Dirk smiled for real at that, and handed Todd some apple chips.

*

Hours passed before they did anything else, and they only noticed the time when the sun got low enough in the sky to cast shadows across their books. Dirk had switched to one on the lumber industry, which somehow made Todd feel simultaneously better and worse. He genuinely didn’t care what Dirk read, he had just had a weird instinctual reaction that under different circumstances he would have called jealousy. He obviously wasn’t jealous of a book, and didn’t know what this was.

They drove back to the inn in comfortable silence, making it in the door just in time for Martha to usher them into the dining room.

“I started cooking for Rowen,” she said, setting plates and bowls in front of them, “but she had to go suddenly. This is perfect timing, you can eat while it’s hot.”

Dirk narrowed his eyes a little at Rowen’s absence, but didn’t say anything.

“What’s for dinner tonight?” Todd asked eagerly. He’d come to realize that this trip would involve the best food he’d ever eat.

The pot Martha brought out was full of creamy maple brie and cheddar apple soup. It definitely wasn’t something Todd would have ordered at a restaurant, but he was glad Martha had made it because he would have been missing out.

Dirk clearly agreed. “This is incredible,” he said in response to Martha’s expectant look, and Todd hummed his agreement with a spoon still in his mouth. “Truly a work of art.”

Martha grinned and thanked them, and having received the feedback she headed back to the kitchen. “I’ll leave you two alone,” she said, “but come find me after dinner. I have a special surprise for you.”

Todd nodded absently, too busy with his food to hear Martha’s tone of voice that implied the surprise was something for them as a couple.

“So,” Dirk said. “Do you think we got any important information out of today?”

“I dunno,” Todd said. “We saw a lot of empty space.” Suddenly, something clicked in his mind, and he got an idea. “Hey, can I see the map again?”

Dirk pulled it out of the bag that was on the floor by his side, spreading it out on the table where they wouldn’t get soup on it. Todd examined it for a minute before putting his finger on an empty spot.

“Here,” he said. “There’s gotta be something right there.”

“Todd, there’s nothing there,” Dirk said, “not even a tower.”

“I know, but look,” Todd said. “If the arsons were really random they’d be all over the place, but they’re not. They’re all an equal distance from this point. There has to be something there that the arsonist is circling.”

Dirk’s eyes lit up. “You’re right!” he said. “Well done, A+ assisting Todd, really, that’s fantastic.”

Todd felt his face heat with the praise and busied himself with the minimal amount of soup he had left. The fact that he’d learned how to investigate like that from a decade-old crime drama he’d watched at three in the morning was something he decided to keep to himself.

They finished dinner not long after that, and once again Dirk insisted on taking their dishes to the kitchen. Martha beamed at them, clearly impressed by their manners.

“I didn’t mean to intrude,” she said, “but I left something in your room. I’ve been working on it all afternoon, and I think you’ll like it.”

Tripping over themselves to thank her, Dirk and Todd made their way up the stairs to their room. Set neatly on the desk inside the door were two delicate glasses and a punch bowl filled with something warm and sweet-smelling.

“Cranberry apple cider,” Dirk read off a small card that had been placed by the glasses. “She must have done it in a slow-cooker.”

Todd barely heard him from where he was already filling up both glasses. He handed one to Dirk and held up his own. “To arguable efficiency?”

“I’ll drink to that,” Dirk said, clinking their glasses together.

The cider was sweet but smooth, the warmth spreading into Todd’s chest as he drank it. It had clearly been spiked heavily with some sort of alcohol, but Todd couldn’t place what it was. Suddenly a little too warm, he shrugged off his jacket and threw it carelessly to the side.

“This is incredible,” Todd said.

“Agreed,” said Dirk. “Martha truly does work magic in that kitchen.”

*

After a drink or three, they decided to move to collapse on the bed, warm and sleepy and too tired considering their day had consisted mostly of doing nothing. Dirk moved the roses, which Todd noticed he’d been watering, and set the entire punch bowl down on the nightstand. It was easier to serve themselves that way, and they drank until it was gone. Todd found himself well past tipsy but not quite drunk, which was a dangerous place to be.

“Dirk,” he said, feeling loose and warm. “What was that book you were reading?”

“Ah yes,” Dirk said, clearly on the same level as Todd. “It was about the lumber industry. Quite boring actually; people just cut down a lot of trees and some other people were quite upset about it. A few towns were displaced, and other ones grew. Pretty much what you’d expect.”

Todd finished the last of his drink. “Not that one,” he said. “The other one. You were pretty mad about it.”

“Yes, well,” Dirk said a bit stiffly, and Todd couldn’t tell if the flush across his cheeks was from the alcohol or the question. “I find that many authors, usually American, no offense, don’t do due diligence when it comes to researching the setting. This one clearly had no idea what a duke actually did during that time period.”

“But before that,” Todd said bravely, “was there a plot? Does the stable boy have a backstory? Or is it just like… dramatic kissing in the rain or some shit.”

“Or some shit,” Dirk said vaguely, not really answering the question. “Look, Todd, it’s wonderful that you want to be supportive or whatever, but you don’t have to ask about-”

“Dirk,” Todd interrupted, “I’m just curious. I’d be asking the same questions if I’d caught you reading The Notebook.”

Dirk’s shoulders relaxed and he was visibly relieved. “I just don’t want you to feel differently about me.”

“Trust me, Dirk,” Todd said, ”nothing’s changed. I feel exactly the same way about you as I did before.”

Dirk smiled and eventually got up to get ready for bed. After they’d put on their pajamas, they climbed back in, not quite sticking as close to their respective sides as they had been. Dirk fell asleep as soon as the lights went off, but Todd stayed awake, blinking up at the ceiling in the dark.

He’d said nothing had changed, but he wasn’t so sure about that anymore.

*

Dirk was missing again when Todd woke up, but like the morning before, the running shower told him he hadn’t gone far. Somehow Todd didn’t even have a minor hangover, which he attributed to Martha and whatever magic she worked in the kitchen.

The shower shut off and Todd looked away when Dirk walked out of the bathroom a minute later shirtless and in boxer briefs. Whatever caused that reaction was something Todd decided to repress immediately rather than think about at all. He’d deal with it when it blew up in his face or turned into an ulcer and killed him. He headed to the shower almost immediately, and turned the water as hot as it would go until he wasn’t thinking about anything anymore. 

When he stepped back into the room, Dirk had gotten dressed, and Todd stopped short. He was wearing a slate-gray button-up cardigan that looked so comfortable Todd wanted to use it as a blanket, but more importantly-

“[Glasses](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/444687562406100992/470092358067814400/GLASSES.png),” Todd said dumbly, not moving from where he was frozen in place.

Dirk pushed them self-consciously up the bridge of his nose. “I don’t usually need them,” he said, “but after all the reading yesterday my eyes got a bit tired.”

“I like them,” Todd said sincerely. “They’re cool.”

Dirk smiled and checked the time on his phone. “It’s almost time for breakfast,” he said. “I’ll meet you downstairs?”

“Yeah,” Todd said, swallowing hard. “Sounds good.”

When he got downstairs both Rowen and Dirk were sitting at the dining room table, with a plate set for Todd beside Dirk.

“Darling,” Dirk said, gesturing for him to come over. “Come sit, we’re about to eat.”

“Yeah, cool,” Todd said, remembering that he was supposed to be acting like Dirk’s boyfriend and had no idea what to do. “Sorry,” he said, taking a seat. “I just wanted to make sure the roses were watered, I know how much you like them.”

“Thank you dear,” Dirk said, squeezing Todd’s shoulder with a casual intimacy Todd didn’t know Dirk was capable of. It felt right though, not awkward, and Todd leaned into it.

“So how did you guys meet?” Rowen asked, ”You seem so different but work so well as a couple.”

“Work,” Dirk said at the exact same time as Todd said, “crime scene.”

Dirk corrected him quickly. “Technically both,” he said. “I’m a detective and I was working a case where Todd was working at the time.”

Rowen’s look of confusion softened into one of amazement. “That’s incredible,” she said. “What a crazy coincidence.”

Todd jumped in, grabbing Dirk’s hand on the table before Dirk could start talking about his beliefs regarding coincidence. “We’re pretty lucky,” he said. “I didn’t even like him at first, but he grew on me and now I can’t imagine my life without him.” He looked at Dirk hoping it seemed sincere. It was close enough to the truth, anyway.

“It was the opposite for me,” Dirk said, turning his palm up to hold Todd’s hand. “I was smitten immediately, practically followed him home.”

Todd laughed, because that was basically how it had happened. “I remember,” he said, “I was so mad but somehow I couldn’t manage to kick you out even when I wanted to.”

The smile on Dirk’s face was soft and warm, and fortunately Martha walked in with a tray before anything could get too sincere. Breakfast was baked eggs in sweet potato crusts, and Todd wondered how many times he could complement Martha’s cooking before it got to be too much. Rowen and Dirk continued chatting amicably about the area, as well as Northampton, where Rowen was working on her masters. Todd chimed in when he could, but Dirk managed to carry the conversation pretty well.

At some point Dirk’s hand had ended up on Todd’s back, rubbing small, gentle circles almost absentmindedly. Todd leaned into it heavily, almost without thinking, eventually deciding it was for the sake of the illusion. When they were done, Martha grabbed the dishes, ignoring Dirk’s protests and telling him he’d done enough already. Dirk, Todd, and Rowen all thanked her sincerely, and then Rowen turned back to them both.

“What are you guys up to today?” she asked.

“Just some exploring I think,” Todd said, looking to Dirk for confirmation that he’d said the right thing. “I’ve never been here so it’s nice to just check out the area.”

“Awesome,” Rowen said. “I hope you have a good time, and enjoy it for me because I’m going to be locked in my room writing all day.”

“We will,” Dirk said, pulling Todd a little closer. Todd went with it automatically, like he didn’t even need to pretend. Rowen headed for the stairs and they were almost immediately joined by Martha.

“If you guys are out investigating you should at least have a good lunch,” she said, handing them twin paper bags. “Let me know how it goes.”

“You’ll know as soon as we do,” Dirk said. “I promise.”

*

Later in the car, having given up on trying to navigate for Dirk, Todd said, “I feel bad for Martha. Shit is literally burning down around her and she’s clearly built her life here. I hope we can fix this.”

Dirk nodded in agreement, barely even looking at the road. He stopped short very suddenly, and even with his seatbelt on Todd almost hit the dash. “We’re here,” he said, absolutely certain.

Todd considered trying the GPS, but they were far enough out that he knew the signal wouldn’t be good enough, and the one bar of 3G on his phone only confirmed it. Dirk seemed sure though, and that was more than enough for Todd. 

Dirk was already making his way into the woods, and Todd had to scramble to catch up with him. The stream of creation must have been strong that day, because it was less than a minute before they came across a clearing, even though “clearing” might have been too generous a word.

It was almost as overgrown as the rest of the forest, but there were small signs that civilization had once been there. Piles of bricks remained slightly stacked, crumbling into the dirt around them, and the trees were smaller in some places. There might not have been anything on the map, but something had definitely been there a long time ago.

“Todd,” Dirk said, waving him over. “These are gravestones, this must have been a settlement of some sort.”

Todd joined him and had to admit he was right, they were completely illegible but clearly part of a very old cemetery. The area around them was clearer than the rest of the clearing, almost like it was being maintained. Dirk was already taking pictures.

“We can’t read these even up close,” Todd said. “What are you going to do with a shitty iPhone picture?”

“Adrienne,” Dirk said, and Todd flashed back to Northampton. It already felt like a lifetime ago. “I’m pretty sure she has some kind of software that can make sense of this.”

There wasn’t much to document, just a few crumbling stones, and Dirk finished quickly. He looked like he was about to say something when he froze, holding up his hand to tell Todd to do the same. After a second he whispered, “Do you hear that?”

Todd didn’t hear anything and was about to say so when Dirk grabbed him by the front of his jacket and pushed him bodily up against the nearest tree. “I’m sorry about this,” Dirk said, voice low, and Todd didn’t have time to ask him what he was sorry for before he heard the crunch of boots on fallen leaves and Dirk planted a hard kiss right on his lips.

Todd closed his eyes and automatically kissed back, melting into it and wrapping his hand around the back of Dirk’s neck without even thinking about it. A familiar voice saying, “oh, shit,” snapped him out of it, and he pulled almost reluctantly away to see Rowen over Dirk’s shoulder. She had a book in one hand and was staring at them with wide eyes.

“Oh my god,” Dirk said, turning to Rowen and delicately wiping the corners of his mouth. “This is so embarrassing. We just wanted to have a bit of a snog and we didn’t think anyone was around.”

“This place is usually empty,” Rowen said, looking less alarmed. “There were some Puritans here years ago but there hasn’t been anything since.”

“What happened to your thesis?” Todd asked, still backed against the tree even though Dirk had put some space between them.

Rowen laughed awkwardly. “It’s about the Puritans,” she explained. “I come here when I have writer's’ block. What a weird coincidence that I would run into you guys!”

“Right,” Dirk said. “Well, we’ll be going so you can get to it. Martha packed lunch and we wouldn’t want it to go to waste.”

Todd didn’t even hear Rowen say goodbye with how fast Dirk grabbed him by the hand and dragged him to the car. Dirk hadn’t bothered locking it, and he climbed into the driver’s seat without a word. Todd buckled in next to him, and Dirk started to drive. He didn’t say anything as he careened through back roads that might not have actually been roads, and by the time they parked at what looked like an abandoned campsite, Todd was so turned around that he didn’t even think the universe knew where they were. The silence from Dirk was unnerving, and it made Todd anxious. 

Dirk turned the car off, and reached behind him to grab the paper bags from Martha. He tossed one to Todd, opened his sandwich, and took two bites before he even started to chill out. Todd watched all of this silently, holding his lunch but making no move to open it.

Finally, Dirk spoke. “I don’t like her,” he said.

“Who, Rowen?” Todd asked. “She’s nice, probably harmless.”

“Even people who are mostly harmless can still be dangerous,” Dirk said. “Besides, you just like her because she’s infatuated with you.”

Todd laughed and opened his lunch. At least Dirk was back to joking around. “Hilarious,” he said, going for the cookie first, “but if you really think she’s shady we can hang out at the inn more. She’s like, always there, we can chat her up.”

Dirk chewed thoughtfully for a second. “That might work,” he said. “We need to know more about her. If she studies the area she might even have useful information.”

“Exactly,” Todd said. “So do you want to trade cookies or not?”

*

It took a little navigating but they found their way back to the Autumn Inn by sundown. Rowen was nowhere to be found, so Dirk grabbed his laptop and they set up camp downstairs. He uploaded the pictures he’d taken and sent them to Adrienne along with an email that looked to Todd like it was in perfect French. He couldn’t understand a word, obviously, but Dirk typed with the kind of confidence that came with fluency.

“We should back these up,” Todd said as Dirk hit send. “My backpack is over there, can you grab the flash drive from the front pocket?”

Dirk handed him the computer and rummaged around in Todd’s bag for a while, finally emerging with the flash drive that had their logo stamped on it. Farah had given a few to each of them with the heavy implication that they were for work and not memes. This was the first time they were ever actually used for that purpose.

“Here you go _darling_ ,” Dirk said, exaggerating the endearment to the point where it couldn’t be interpreted as anything but a joke. He handed Todd the drive.

Todd was busy plugging it in and without even thinking he said, “Thanks babe.”

He only realized what he’d said when Dirk sat up straighter next to him. What Dirk had said was funny, clearly a joke. What Todd had said had come so naturally that it didn’t really feel like he was kidding, and it wasn’t like they were faking it for anyone else’s sake.

He cleared his throat, started transferring the pictures, and managed to avoid acknowledging it for the rest of the night.


	3. III

The first thing Todd noticed when he woke up the next morning was that it was later than usual; the sun was streaming through the window at a different angle and hitting him right in the eyes. He confirmed the time on his phone and realized he’d slept through breakfast, and might have even missed lunch if he’d slept much later. The second thing he noticed was that he was alone. There was no familiar sound of the shower, and the open bathroom door confirmed that Dirk was gone. Still half-asleep, Todd pulled on his sweatpants and made his way downstairs.

He heard Dirk’s voice coming from the kitchen and stopped there first.

“-and then he showed up at the hospital anyway!” Dirk was saying, standing at the counter in front of a sinkful of dishes, presumably from breakfast. 

Martha was doing a crossword at the table and noticed Todd first. “Well hello there,” she said. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah,” Todd said, rubbing his eyes. He was still a little disoriented from oversleeping.

“I’m sorry for not waking you, dear,” Dirk said, and any trace of whatever weird vibe from the day before was gone. “I just thought you’d like some rest. You’re not exactly a morning person, so I figured waking up so early might be getting to you.”

He wasn’t wrong, and Todd appreciated it even though he had a feeling it might not be the real reason he woke up alone. The smell of dark roast coffee snapped him back to reality and he caught up all at once. The coffee pot was still steaming when Todd filled the mug Dirk handed him, and he took a long, scalding sip to brace himself before kissing Dirk on the cheek. If they were going to be spending more time at the inn they were really going to need to step up their game, and Todd figured there was no time like the present to start.

He didn’t miss the way Dirk almost dropped the spatula in his hand, but Martha wasn’t paying attention and had hopefully missed it. “Thanks babe,” he said, nudging Dirk with his elbow and trying not to think about the night before. Dirk was wearing the glasses again, and Todd had to resist the urge to push them up the bridge of his nose.

“Dirk was just telling me about how you two met,” Martha said, explaining the bit of conversation Todd had overheard.

Todd leaned against the counter with his coffee, next to Dirk but facing Martha. “Did he tell you about the time he broke into my apartment?”

Martha laughed. “Sounds like it happened more than once from the way he tells it. He said he couldn’t stay away.”

Dirk blushed as he started loading pots and pans into the drying rack next to the sink, and it was then that Todd noticed what Dirk was wearing. “This is mine,” he said, reaching out to touch the sleeve of the hoodie. It was black with a purple and red paint splotch pattern on the front that revealed the word REBEL on the fabric underneath. It was a remnant of Todd’s embarrassing anarchist phase, but it was soft and warm and even had thumbholes. 

“Well yes,” Dirk said, blushing just a little bit more. “I was chilly and didn’t think you’d mind. You know how much I love this one, it even has thumbholes.” He shook the water off his hands, dried them the rest of the way with a tea towel, and pushed the sleeves down so he could stick his thumbs through the holes at the wrist.

Todd grinned. “It looks better on you anyway,” he said, only half acting. Dirk’s lankier frame filled it out better, whereas Todd usually looked like he was drowning in it. He realized after a second that he hadn’t packed it, which meant Dirk must have brought it himself.

“Am I missing a kitchen party?” Rowen asked, pushing through the swinging door to the kitchen, bowl and spoon in hand. 

Dirk’s shoulders tightened ever so slightly, but he took the dishes from her and smiled. “Just some conversation,” he said. “Which, by the way, you should tell us more about your thesis. American history is so fascinating.”

“Oh, you wouldn’t think it’s interesting,” Rowen said, waving her hand dismissively. “It’s mostly just combing through birth records and tax documents, blah blah blah. I like it because I’m from here but I have yet to find anyone else who cares.”

The dismissal was smooth enough that it almost seemed rehearsed. Todd was an experienced liar and could spot one if he was looking for it, and there was definitely something she deliberately wasn’t telling them.

“Well you’ll have to try me sometime,” Dirk said, pointedly leaving Rowen’s dishes in the sink unwashed. He wasn’t the only one who noticed, and Rowen’s eyes narrowed just a little at the slight. There was definitely some kind of tension between the two of them, even if Todd couldn’t quite figure out what it was.

Todd had stopped paying attention again, and Dirk nudged him affectionately in the side. “Yeah, it sounds really cool,” Todd lied.

“Darling,” Dirk said, leaning against him more heavily, “should we get dressed? Martha has generously offered to pack a lunch for us again.”

Todd took Dirk’s weight on easily. “Sure,” he said, finishing his coffee. “Am I allowed to drive today?”

Everyone laughed and Todd and Dirk excused themselves, Dirk leading Todd up the staircase by the hand. Back in their room, they decided to make a game plan.

“That was some nice acting,” Todd said, pulling on a pair of socks.

Dirk huffed out a small laugh. “Me? How about you? I’m impressed. Anyway, I say we check out one of the arson sites first, the second one to burn down isn’t far,” he said, “and we should come back early, Martha says Rowen usually has tea in the library before dinner.”

“There’s a library here?” Todd asked, feeling like he’d missed something.

“Duh,” Dirk said, as if it should have been obvious. “Maybe if you’d made it downstairs for breakfast with Martha you’d know these things.”

Todd shrugged on his jacket, getting another weird, indescribable vibe. “Okay,” he said, trying to sound chill. “Seriously though, can I drive?”

*

Todd did not get to drive, much to his dismay as Dirk pushed the four wheel drive to the limit. When they finally arrived, Todd was relieved to just not be in motion for a little while. He’d never been one to get carsick, but there was a first time for everything and Dirk was really pushing it.

The tower, or what was left of it, looked pretty similar to the first one; a perfect circle of soot and ash surrounded the remains of the tower with total precision. According to the information they had, it was a newer tower and had been climbable before the fire. Metal beams were still visible, but they were warped enough that Todd couldn’t figure out their original purpose.

“This fire burned hot,” Dirk said. “Not so hot that the beams melted, but to warp them like this you’d need to get them to at least 600° Celsius.” At Todd’s confused look he scoffed and said, “1100° Fahrenheit, honestly. That’s hot, I’m talking burning jet fuel hot.”

“Jesus,” Todd said, taking an instinctive step back from the wreckage. “Would we be able to smell that? Jet fuel doesn’t exactly fuck around.”

Dirk shook his head. “I have no idea,” he said. “All I know is that it’s damn near impossible to control a fire that hot so precisely and then put it all out at once. We’re definitely not dealing with something natural here.” 

They decided to split up and check out the edge of the circle to see if they could find anything around the perimeter. Todd kept getting distracted, looking over at Dirk to try to figure out what was up with him. He might have been stressed about the case or suddenly averse to lying, but there was definitely something he wasn’t telling Todd. Todd was so distracted looking for signs of distress in Dirk that he didn’t see the giant pine tree until he walked into it.

“Shit,” he said, brushing himself off. He wasn’t hurt, just surprised, but then he looked more closely at the tree trunk. “ _Shit!_ ” he said again. “Dirk, check this out!”

Dirk was at his side in an instant. “Shit,” he agreed, looking at the letter-like symbols carved into the tree. They were crossed out in places, but still clear. “We’ve seen this before.”

He was right, they looked a lot like what they had found in the notebook from the first site. Dirk pulled out his phone and started snapping pictures, and Todd stepped back to let him work. He was still kind of dusty, and pulled a small sliver of wood out of the front of his shirt.

It was a huge mistake right away. Todd looked down at the splinter in his hand and found a full tree branch impaling him in the stomach.

“Dirk,” he said faintly, voice cracking and threatening to give out completely. Todd felt his mouth fill up with blood and stumbled back, sliding to his knees. “Dirk!” he said again, managing to be a bit louder.

“Yeah?” Dirk asked absent-mindedly before turning around. “Oh my god,” he said, falling to his knees next to Todd.

“My pills,” Todd croaked, “they’re in the car.”

Dirk took a small pill case out of his pocket, and Todd wondered simultaneously how he’d forgotten that Dirk carried them and why he wasn’t doing it too. He swallowed the pill dry, and tried to breathe evenly while the hallucination faded. When he opened his eyes Dirk was still there, but the branch was gone.

“I’m fine,” he said, before Dirk could even ask the question, but his voice was still pretty rough.

“Like hell you are,” Dirk said. “Come on, we have everything we need, let’s get you to bed.”

Secretly relieved that he’d get to sleep it off, Todd didn’t protest Dirk helping him to his feet and into the car. He was in and out of sleep the entire way back, and he didn’t realize until much later that it was the first time he’d ever seen Dirk drive carefully.

*

Todd woke up for good when they pulled up to the inn, realizing quickly that at some point on the drive back, it had started raining. Not just raining, pouring, the weather giving out for the first time since they’d arrived. The temperature had dropped dramatically and Todd was cold before he even got out of the car. Both of them were soaking wet even after quickly unloading the car and the short walk between the parking lot and the front door. They kicked off their soggy boots as soon as they walked in, shaking themselves like dogs to try to dry off.

Martha must have seen them pull into the driveway, because she met them in the drawing room with a pile of extra towels. Todd was cold, proper pre-winter cold, and his hands shook a little as he accepted them. Dirk wasn’t looking much better, shivering a little in his soaked sweater.

“Go warm up,” Martha instructed, ushering them up the stairs. “The fireplace in your room is electric, we replaced the wood one after a guest set the rug on fire trying to light it.”

Encouraged by the thought of a fire, the two of them raced up the stairs and made it to the room in record time. Todd flipped the switch on the fireplace, and it came to life. Dirk’s sweater was the first thing to get stripped off; Todd was pretty sure it was some kind of wool that might never recover. It had left his undershirt dry enough that he left it on, but his jeans and socks were kicked to the floor as well. Rather than put on warm clothes, Dirk grabbed a flannel blanket off the end of the bed and wrapped it around himself, sitting squarely on the floor in front of the fireplace.

Todd hadn’t moved, instead watching Dirk strip even faster than when the electric ghost rhino had set their clothes on fire. Dirk gave him a bewildered look, and Todd finally remembered that he was freezing. He had the presence of mind to pull on sweatpants and a hoodie, realizing belatedly that he’d picked up the hoodie that Dirk had worn that morning. It smelled like him, and Todd was warming up already, so he didn’t change.

He sat next to Dirk and kicked at the blanket a little until Dirk let him spread it over his legs and feet. “What the fuck is this rain?” he asked.

Dirk sighed. “The foliage won’t be the same. I’m sure it’ll still be nice but it’s never quite as lovely after a big storm.” He rolled his shoulders, cracking his neck before stretching out a little more.

“Do you think it’ll ruin any of the crime scenes?”

“Oh probably,” Dirk said, a little too casually, “but we’ll still get what we need, we always do.”

Todd grinned, for once sharing his optimism, and kicked Dirk lightly under the blanket. “What do you think is up with that crazy alphabet?” he asked.

“I dunno,” Dirk said, leaning his face towards the warmth of the fireplace. The storm had made everything outside dark, and they hadn’t turned any other lights on in their haste, so the only light came from the fire. It cast a golden glow on them both, long shadows stretching out behind them. “I don’t want to think about it right now though, I’ve been up since four this morning and quite frankly I’m a bit too knackered to do any real thinking.”

Todd hadn’t even felt him get up. “Why so early?”

Dirk rolled his right shoulder. “Turns out being harpooned twice has long-term effects,” he said. “I should have known it would rain by the way it ached. I should be a holistic weatherman instead.”

“You can’t be comfortable then,” Todd said, indicating the way Dirk was sitting with terrible posture, still cocooned in the blanket.

“Worse things have happened to better people,” Dirk said calmly, not looking away from the fireplace.

“You _are_ the better people,” Todd said, displeased with Dirk’s reaction. Dirk finally looked at Todd, a mix of confusion and disbelief on his face. “Jesus,” Todd said. “No one has ever tried to make you feel better about anything, have they?”

Dirk’s eyes were just a little wider than usual, and Todd couldn’t look anywhere else. Dirk paused for a second, swallowed hard, and asked, “What do you mean?”

Well, fuck. Todd was the last person in the universe to have any business trying to take care of anyone, but in that moment Dirk looked so vulnerable that he couldn’t do nothing. “Come here,” he said. “Turn around.”

Clearly confused, Dirk scooted closer and turned around where he was sitting, his back to Todd and the blanket still around his shoulders. He inhaled a short breath at the first brush of Todd’s fingertips down his neck, but Todd quickly found the knot in his shoulder blade and pushed his thumb in. “Todd…” Dirk said, gasping as Todd started to work both hands around where Dirk had been shot. “What are you doing?”

“Relax,” Todd said. “I learned how to do this for Amanda. After the hallucinations involving electricity her shoulders would tighten up like crazy and I didn’t like that she was taking so many muscle relaxants. Like, I mostly just watched YouTube tutorials but it always helped her.”

Dirk hummed in agreement, already sagging back against Todd’s hand. “I can see why,” he said. “This is incredible.”

“Good,” Todd said, “but seriously dude, you can’t say shit like that. Bad things happen every day, hell, sometimes _we’re_ the bad things depending on who you are, but you don’t _deserve_ bad things. There’s no one better than you.” He shoved his thumbs up Dirk’s shoulder in a smooth line and ignored the funny feeling he got when Dirk made a pleased noise.

“Pot, kettle,” Dirk said, making a valid point. “If I don’t deserve bad things then neither do you. I know you probably still think you’re an asshole, but an asshole wouldn’t have followed me here with no information. An asshole wouldn’t have brought extra boots for me. An asshole wouldn’t be fixing my shoulder with an _unbelievable_ skill that I cannot believe he’s been hiding.”

Todd laughed. “Alright, fine,” he said. “Just… you need to let me help you like you help me. If you get to carry my pills around I get to fix your shoulder.”

“Fine,” Dirk said, much more pliant under Todd’s hands. “Agreed. I’d shake on it but you’re crazy if you think I’m moving.”

Todd put some muscle into kneading both of Dirk’s shoulders now, and something caught in his throat when Dirk groaned. He swallowed hard. Talking about feelings wasn’t exactly something he was good at, and it was getting to him.

“By the way,” Todd asked, putting voice to the question, “since when do you carry around a thing of my pills?”

“Montana,” Dirk said, not even needing to think about it, and Todd was glad Dirk couldn’t see the way his jaw dropped a little. “After you had the attack where you saw Amanda, I felt so helpless. As soon as I could get my hands on a bottle I’ve carried them at all times.”

Todd’s hands stilled on Dirk’s shoulders, not really believing what he was hearing. Montana had been a long time ago, but even as he thought about it Todd realized that it was exactly the kind of thing Dirk would do. “Thank you,” he said with a sincerity he hadn’t felt about anything in a long time.

Dirk wiggled his shoulders a little, clearly not wanting the massage to stop. “You’re welcome,” he said, like it was nothing. 

Todd was pretty sure that to Dirk, it was that simple. “I’m tired,” he said. He wasn’t sure what time it was, but the fire was making him warm and sleepy and the soft carpet in front of it wasn’t making anything better. “I should take a nap before dinner.”

“Me too,” Dirk said, yawning. “I don’t think my shoulder will bother me this time.”

“I’ll get up in a second,” Todd said, grabbing a pillow off the armchair behind him and reclining against it.

He didn’t notice that Dirk had rested his head on Todd’s shoulder before he spoke. “Me too,” Dirk repeated.

Everything after that faded away.

*

Todd woke up hours later, cotton-mouthed and overly warm with Dirk pretty much wrapped around him. Someone was knocking urgently on their door, and before Todd could process what was happening, there was the sound of a key in a lock and the door opened. Dirk didn’t stir until Martha spoke.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, “but there’s been another fire. It’s still burning, you should go look.”

Dirk was up in an instant, obviously forgetting that he was mostly undressed. Todd followed him, thankful for the sweatpants that were a bit more forgiving, and said, “We’ll be right there.” 

They hurried to get their things together, Dirk pulling on layers and somehow finding one of the hoodies Todd had actually packed to pull on. Todd didn’t say anything, there was no time to bring it up even if it bothered him, which it didn’t. They raced downstairs, shoving dry socks into boots that were still cold and damp. Martha tried to give them directions, but apparently Dirk didn’t need them. She handed them two umbrellas and they were out the door.

Dirk really didn’t need the directions; Todd didn’t know if it was the stream of creation or the rapidly-growing column of smoke that was guiding him, but Dirk seemed to instinctively know where to go. The rain came down in sheets and the windshield wipers were working hard to keep things visible. Not that they could see a whole lot in the dark anyway, but with the brights on and the wipers at full speed they managed.

Everything was mud by the time they got to the tower; the fire had been going for a few hours at that point and somehow the rain hadn’t touched it. They stayed away from the flames, knowing that “jet fuel hot fire” was not something to play chicken with. They climbed back into the car and watched the flames climb higher, maintaining their perfect radius and shot through with color. Seeing the pink and green and purple flames in person was insane. Todd had been to bonfires where people had poured some WalMart impulse-buy crap into the fire to make it spark, but this was completely next-level.

They could barely see the top of the tower through the flames, but it was an older one, mostly wood, and had likely already collapsed. Todd definitely had to admit there was something preternatural about this, nothing he knew of could make a fire rage this hard, especially with the rain as strong as it was. It was like the weather had no effect at all but to make Dirk and Todd’s lives miserable. There wasn’t much they could do except document it, so they sat in the car with their phones out until dawn, when the flames extinguished themselves all at once.

The rain had eased by the time they headed back to the inn, but they were still both dripping wet when they got inside. They left their boots at the door, forced themselves up the stairs, and locked themselves in the bedroom. Unlike last time there was no flannel blanket, no fireplace, no soft carpet. They just put on their warmest, driest clothes, and climbed into bed. 

*

It was definitely mid-afternoon when Todd woke up, and he also very definitely had one of Dirk’s arms flung over his waist. It was tempting to just stay and be comfortable until dinner, but Todd had a phone call to make.

He gently untangled himself from Dirk, who fortunately didn’t stir, and took his phone before quietly stepping out into the hallway. A few doors down he found what was presumably the library; it wasn’t huge but had wall-to-wall bookshelves, a giant desk at the window, and an armchair in the corner that Todd could tell was perfect for reading. He sat down with his phone, and dialed Farah.

The phone rang twice before Farah picked up. “What do you want, Todd?” she asked. “I’m mid-pedicure.”

“What?” Todd asked, but something like Vivaldi could be heard distinctly in the background. “Don’t you care about the case?”

“I do,” Farah said, but Todd had a hard time believing her. “I know you guys will pull me in when you need me, and I’ve been taking advantage of the quiet to get a lot done.” Then, muffled and to someone else, “Yes, the pink nail polish, thank you.”

Todd laughed. “Sounds like it,” he said. “Sorry to interrupt.”

“It’s fine,” Farah said, more pleasantly this time. “What’s up, do you need to bring me in?”

“I don’t know,” Todd said. “Things are weird. Do you know anything about the burning temperature of jet fuel?”

“I can’t say I do, no. What’s weird? Weirder than usual?”

“Dirk and I ended up going undercover,” Todd said. “It started as an honest mistake but we went with it to gain some locals’ trust and now it’s just… weird.” He took a deep breath before saying, “Everyone thinks Dirk and I are dating.”

There was a long pause from Farah’s end of the line. “What?” she finally asked.

“People just kind of assumed we were together and we never corrected them and now we’re _actually_ faking it and everything is weird.”

Another long pause. “No,” Farah said slowly, “what do you mean, ‘faking it’? Aren’t you guys already together?”

“ _What?!_ ” Todd asked, before remembering where he was and quieting himself. “No!” he said. “Dirk is my best friend, not my boyfriend!”

Farah hummed, but Todd couldn’t decipher the meaning behind it. “That is so weird.”

“Thank you!” Todd said. “I told you, it’s getting super weird. How do I fix it?”

“No,” Farah corrected him, “it’s weird that you’re not dating. I could have sworn you two were a couple. Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Todd said, offended. “What even made you think we were?”

“Well there’s the fact that he carries your pararibulitis pills around, the way you keep drinking tea for him even though you clearly hate it, the fact that you bicker like a married couple, the longing stares across the office, the fact that you guys spend more time in your bedroom than in your living room, the way you keep disappearing during the day for some mystery activity that never yields any results, not to mention the fact that I would have been filing your taxes as common-law if Washington state allowed it-”

“Okay, okay,” Todd interrupted. “First of all, we do that stuff because we’re friends. Platonic friends. Second of all, the mystery activity is going to get ice cream when you get too Type-A about filing. And we only spend so much time in my room because that’s where our good sound system is.”

He could feel Farah rolling her eyes over the phone. “Yeah Todd, the way you look at him when he wears the purple skinny jeans is _real_ platonic. If you say you’re not dating then fine, but I’m serious, I thought you guys were just on the down-low and I didn’t want to rush you into coming out.”

Todd choked a little at the words “coming out.” He couldn’t believe Farah had genuinely thought he and Dirk were a couple. “Okay,” he said, “if you don’t know anything about jet fuel and you don’t know anything about my love life, I’ll just call you later with an update.” It came out a little angrier than he meant it to, but Farah understood.

“Alright,” she said, “just not between the hours of two and three. I have a daily massage set up. Call your sister about the jet fuel, lord knows what she gets up to with the Rowdies.”

“Thanks, Farah,” Todd said, trying to sound a little nicer. “We’ll let you know if anything serious comes up.”

She said goodbye and hung up, clearly wanting to get back to her pedicure. She worked hard, and Todd knew she deserved it, so he was glad she was getting some self-care in. He looked at the phone in his hand, trying to process what he’d just been told, but realized there was no way to process it quickly and dialed Amanda instead.

“Hey Todd,” she said, surprising him by picking up after only two rings. It had been a while since they’d had a chance to talk.

“Do you think Dirk and I act like we’re dating?” he asked, blurting out the question he hadn’t meant to ask.

Amanda seemed puzzled. “Um, of course you do?” she said. “Haven’t you guys been together for like two years now?”

“Seriously?” Todd asked. “You too? I just had to tell Farah we’re not dating, I can’t believe you think so too.”

“Seriously?” Amanda echoed. “You guys are like, the grossest couple I’ve ever met. You might think you’re not dating but there’s nothing platonic about the way you stare at his ass when he wears skinny jeans.”

Todd wondered how long that had been happening and how many people had noticed. “We’re _pretending_ to be a couple here, but it’s for a case. We’re undercover.”

“Yikes,” Amanda said. “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be okay?” Todd asked. Sure he’d been feeling weird, but his life was always weird.

“Because,” Amanda said slowly, like she was explaining it to a child, “you have to fake being with him without actually _getting_ to be with him. That must be really hard.”

Todd scoffed. “I’m not like, in love with Dirk, if that’s what you’re insinuating.”

“Okay,” Amanda said, sounding more like she was humoring him than anything else. “How’s Dirk holding up?”

There were a whole bunch of implications behind that that Todd wasn’t going to deal with. “He’s fine,” he said shortly. “What do you know of that could make a giant fire ignite quickly, burn hot with colored flames, and be able to put itself out all at once?”

“Uhh,” Amanda thought for a second. “Nothing I can think of? I can ask the crew but we usually burn shit down with lighter fluid and it sounds like your thing is way more intense than that. I’ll look into it though, and let you know if I find anything.”

“Thanks,” Todd said, meaning it. Amanda didn’t owe him any more of her time than she felt like giving, so it was nice that she was willing to put in any kind of effort. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

“I think I should be the one telling you that,” Amanda said. “Dirk too.” And then, because that had been a little too sincere she added, “Can I be the flower girl when you guys get married?”

“Shut up,” Todd said, but he was laughing. “I’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

“Whatever,” Amanda said, “Peace.”

Todd hung up, and stared at the ceiling for a while, trying to make sense of what he’d just been told. The people who were closest to him had just been making this big, huge assumption like it was nothing. Like it was a given. Like he and Dirk were so perfect for each other that anything else just didn’t make sense.

He was startled out of his thoughts by someone knocking lightly on the doorframe. He looked away from the ceiling and saw Dirk, wearing a t-shirt and Todd’s sweatpants, hovering in the doorway. Seeing Dirk in his sweatpants made Todd realized that the socks he was wearing had owls on them and definitely weren’t his. He wondered when they had started sharing clothes.

“Martha says there’s still french toast if we want it,” Dirk said, and Todd realized that he was starving. They’d slept through three meals between his attack and the fire, so french toast sounded pretty amazing.

“Count me in,” Todd said, and then, “Nice pants.”

Dirk looked a little embarrassed, but not much. “They’re warm,” he said, and Todd wondered if they were really that much warmer than the pajamas he’d brought for himself. “It’s maple caramel french toast,” Dirk clarified.

“Fuck yeah,” Todd said, on his feet in an instant.

They went downstairs, ate their weight in french toast, and Todd never brought up what Farah and Amanda had said.

*

They decided to write the day off as a loss; they were exhausted and their sleep schedules were shot and between the ash, mud, and Dirk’s theft, Todd was running dangerously low on clean clothes. Martha, of course, had offered to do laundry for them, but Dirk had refused, stating that they were adults and would be happy to take care of it themselves.

Somehow that translated to Todd doing the laundry, loading the first round into the washing machine while Dirk sat on the dryer eating maple candy. He’d heard somewhere that the suggested measurements on the inside of detergent caps were a fraud, so he just dumped in whatever seemed accurate.

“So what do you think that language is?” Dirk asked. “Some kind of government code? A satanist manifesto?” He gasped. “What if it’s aliens?”

“A code maybe,” Todd said, “but it doesn’t seem government to me. Whoever carved it into that tree seemed to screw it up a few times before getting it right, maybe it’s just really old and whoever it is was using that notebook.”

Dirk nodded in agreement. “Yes, that’s a very good point,” he said. “We’ll have to go back to last night’s site eventually to look for more of the same. Do you think we can match anything?”

“Maybe?” Todd said reluctantly. His fluency in centuries-old code wasn’t exactly great, and he didn’t have much faith in Dirk’s either. 

“Well, I for one think that-”

Dirk’s voice faded into the background when Todd heard a doorway down the hall open and Rowen’s voice coming towards them. She was having a one-sided conversation, probably on her cellphone, but Dirk and Todd had left the laundry room door open. If she got any closer, she’d be able to hear them.

There was no time to shut Dirk up without seeming suspicious, so Todd did the first thing that came to mind and grabbed Dirk by the back of the neck for a kiss. The first one had been stiff, sort of awkward given that they hadn’t known who would walk in on them, but inside the inn felt safer. Todd hauled Dirk closer with a hand on his hip, surging up against him and tilting his head back so Dirk could kiss him from a better angle. Inhaling sharply, Dirk leaned in, his hands on Todd’s shoulders bringing them just that little bit closer, and kissed back.

Rowen’s voice came and went, disappearing down the hallway. If she’d seen or heard anything, she hadn’t stopped. Todd didn’t pull away right away though; instead he lingered for just a second, staying in Dirk’s space until he had to breathe.

“Wow,” he said, coughing awkwardly. “Uh, close call. Sorry for springing that on you, I just…”

“Yeah,” Dirk said. “Good thinking. We need to maintain our cover.”

Todd tried to ignore the fact that he was breathing sort of heavily, and stepped back to close the washing machine and hit start. Dirk hopped off the dryer, and before anything could get even weirder, his phone chimed and broke the tension. 

He took it out of his pocket to check it and said, “It’s from Adrienne. We’ll need my laptop and probably the notebook, let’s go get them.”

“I’ll meet you in the drawing room,” Todd said, “I want to grab a snack first.”

Dirk nodded and headed down the hallway in one direction, and Todd went the opposite way. His lips were tingling as he made his way to the kitchen, and he couldn’t help but think about how that kiss had felt different. It was for the same reason as the first one, but there was more there, somewhere underneath. He thought about his earlier conversations with Farah and Amanda and realized it felt different because it hadn’t felt fake. He could still taste a hint of maple sugar, and he couldn’t help but wonder how long Dirk’s mouth would be that sweet.

He pushed open the swinging door to the kitchen. Forget snacks, he was going to need a drink.

*

When Todd walked into the kitchen, Martha was pouring the rest of what looked like some kind of sangria into a gigantic pitcher. “I had a feeling you’d want this,” she said, giving Todd a look he couldn’t decipher. “I’m heading out for the night, but if you boys get hungry there’s a lot of food in the chest freezer and refrigerator in the cellar. I’ll be back sometime before lunch tomorrow.”

“Wow,” Todd said, not sure how Martha always seemed to know what to give them. “Thank you so much. Everything is always amazing, I’m sure we’ll find something.”

Martha smiled at the compliment and set two suspiciously large glasses on the counter. “I have to go get ready, but help yourselves to anything. It’s just you two and Rowen here tonight, so it’ll be nice and quiet.” She winked at him with implications that Todd chose to ignore, and left him to it.

Todd filled the glasses as high as they could go without spilling over the sides as he carried them out into the drawing room. Dirk was already seated on the loveseat in the corner, the only couch with a table in front of it that was suitable for more than a few coffee mugs.

“Sangria?” he asked, and Dirk looked up.

“Absolutely,” he said, reaching out to take his glass as Todd sat down.

They both took a drink and at the same time said, “Oh my god.”

“It tastes like caramel apples,” Dirk said, looking at his drink somewhat in awe. “How? I don’t understand.”

Todd took another huge swig and said, “If there really is magic around here, I think it’s Martha. No one makes food this good naturally.”

Dirk hummed in agreement, drinking quite a bit more before setting it down on a coaster next to his computer. “So I’ve got the email,” he said. “I’m afraid it’s not very encouraging.”

Todd leaned closer, trying to read from Dirk’s computer screen only to find that the email was entirely in French. “What does it say?”

“Dear Dirk,” Dirk translated. “These pictures are shit and I’m almost insulted you sent them to me. Next time I see you I’m going to hit you and then teach you when you should and should not use flash.” Todd snickered and Dirk continued. “I wasn’t able to get much but attached is what I was able to find. It just looks like lines to me, but it may make sense to you.”

Todd’s shoulders sagged in disappointment, already knowing what they were about to see. Dirk clicked on the image attachment, and sure enough the symbols were very similar to the ones that had been showing up everywhere they went. He held the notebook up to the screen, and sure enough the symbols were almost identical. It was definitely a clue, but they still had no idea how to decipher it. Dirk looked as disappointed as Todd felt, and Todd couldn’t let that stand.

“Hey,” he said. “It’s still technically our day off. We’ll deal with that in the morning, tonight let’s just get wasted on the most New England drink I’ve ever had.”

Dirk’s eyes lit up. “Sounds good to me,” he said, grabbing his glass and draining it in one go.

*

The sangria disappeared very quickly. They were giggling like the sorority girls Todd used to pretend to be better than and sharing stories of the most ridiculous things they’d done while drunk. Eventually they needed more booze and some food, so Todd ventured into the basement and brought back a bag of cider doughnuts and a bottle of maple whiskey.

They realized too late that Todd had forgotten to get tumblers for the whiskey, but at that point Todd had already sat down and neither of them felt like getting up, so they just poured the whiskey into their empty sangria glasses. A small voice in the back of Todd’s head told him it might not be the best idea, but then Dirk started laughing at Todd’s impression of Vogel and his became the only voice Todd could be bothered to care about.

At some point Todd plucked off Dirk’s glasses and put them on himself. Dirk’s vision really wasn’t that bad and Todd knew he probably didn’t need to wear them 24/7, but he kind of wished he would. “You should wear these more,” he said. “It’s a really good look for you.” Dirk just blushed and let Todd delicately place them back on his face. 

By the time the bottle of whiskey was half-empty they’d done away with the sangria glasses altogether and were trading off drinking straight from the bottle. Todd was loose-limbed and warm, leaning heavily against Dirk’s side. He finally decided they’d had enough and set the bottle down on the table, but his head was back on Dirk’s shoulder as soon as he’d done it.

“You know,” Dirk said lazily, “I don’t think I’ve ever been this drunk in my entire life.”

“Really?” Todd asked, because he wasn’t even sure this was in his top five. Top ten, maybe, but he’d definitely been drunker. “You should have seen me at Cinco de Mayo in 2006. At one point I started telling everyone I had to go to St. Louis and to this day nobody knows why. I woke up the next morning and had even booked a flight.”

Dirk laughed. “I can’t say I’ve ever felt any particular need to go to St. Louis,” he said, “but I can see why spies use alcohol to get information from people. You could ask me literally any question right now and I’d tell the truth.”

A million questions ran through Todd’s mind in a second, but it made him dizzy so he just laughed, nudging Dirk with his shoulder. “I’ll keep that in mind next time my ice cream goes missing,” he said. 

Dirk frowned minutely, looking almost disappointed, but seemed to shake it off. “Excuse you,” he said, “it’s in our lease that all household expenses and ice cream get split 50/50.”

Todd wasn’t sure whether or not to believe him. It was entirely possible he’d snuck it in knowing Todd would never read the fine print, but it was also a weirdly specific addition. “I’ll keep that in mind next time you buy that fancy German shit.”

“Häagen-Dazs is hardly fancy, Todd,” Dirk said, and then he paused for a long second. “Can I tell you a secret?”

Before Todd could reply that Dirk could tell him anything, they heard the sound of tires on gravel and saw headlights through the front windows. “That’s probably Rowen,” he said. “She’s the only other one here tonight.”

Dirk’s eyes narrowed and the second they heard a car door slam shut, he was throwing himself on Todd, climbing into his lap and straddling his hips and tilting his head back for an agonizingly slow, deep kiss. He pulled away for a split second to whisper in Todd’s ear, “She can’t be suspicious.” 

Somewhere in his mind Todd knew that was ridiculous, Dirk’s laptop was closed and there was literally nothing to be suspicious of, but then Dirk pressed a soft kiss to the corner of Todd’s mouth and everything else faded away. He kissed back eagerly, one hand at the small of Dirk’s back to pull him closer and one in his hair because he’d kind of always wanted to touch it. Dirk had an arm over Todd’s shoulder and the other was bracing himself against the loveseat. They barely separated enough to breathe, and even though he’d been the one to initiate it, Dirk seemed happy to let Todd lead the way.

Todd used every trick in the book, every move he knew, and it just made them hungrier. Dirk opened his mouth to suck in a breath, and Todd pulled Dirk’s bottom lip between his teeth. Somewhere in all of this, the front door was unlocked and there was the distinct noise of someone walking up the stairs, but it didn’t register to either of them. Increasingly confident, Dirk opened his mouth wide enough for Todd’s tongue and Todd was lost, suddenly wanting nothing else in the world. Dirk tasted like autumn and Todd felt the smouldering heat of an October bonfire building in his chest.

He gripped Dirk’s hair and Dirk gasped, settling his hips more firmly against Todd’s, and Todd felt a jolt of electricity shoot up his spine. He broke away from Dirk for the first time to look at his face; blue eyes shocked wide, lips red, and breathing hard.

A door slammed upstairs and they both looked towards the noise. 

“Did we miss her?” Todd asked, not quite slurring his words, but close.

Dirk shrugged helplessly, and that was the last thing Todd would remember before blacking out.

*

He woke up in the morning facedown on the bed, practically suffocating himself with his own pillow. Dirk was close but oddly detached; the California king bed gave them plenty of room to have their own space, but Dirk was sprawled out on the opposite corner and basically as far away from Todd as he could get without being on the floor.

Todd had a headache, but miraculously it wasn’t from a hangover. He remembered just enough from the night before to hate himself for letting things get that far. He slipped out of bed and made his way to the kitchen for coffee. Somehow every detail from after they started drinking was somewhat vague and fuzzy except for the kiss, which Todd could relive in crystal-clear technicolor. He tried not to, and failed.

He’d kissed his fair share of people, girls and guys, just for the sake of drunk fun, but that wasn’t what that had been. There had been something there under the flimsy excuse of playing their parts, and Todd would be lying if he said he’d felt nothing. This whole thing, the fake relationship, the exploring, the kissing, the way they were sharing clothes, was making Todd think there might be more to it than just acting for the sake of their cover. It wasn’t just him either, there had obviously been something coming from Dirk too. People didn’t kiss like that for fun. Todd had never been kissed like that at all.

Todd turned on the coffee maker and leaned against the counter while it brewed. He’d never thought about Dirk like that, at least not consciously, but if Farah and Amanda were to be believed, it had been going on for a long time. He tried to come to terms with it in his head, the idea that he quite possibly had a thing for his best friend. It didn’t freak him out as much as he thought it would, though that wasn’t saying much considering the way his brain had started making the grinding noise of a jammed shredder whenever he thought back to last night. Much to his surprise, it wasn’t in panic. He just didn’t know what to do about it. 

He pulled two mugs out of the cabinet, reflexively pouring one for himself and one for Dirk. He was dumping sugar into the second one when Dirk joined him, just in time for Todd to hand him his coffee.

“Thanks,” Dirk said, sitting down at the kitchen table. The smile on his face was small, so shy it was almost awkward. Dirk made a lot of leaps of faith, somehow sticking the landing every time, so to see him so reluctant made Todd wonder if he regretted anything.

“No problem,” Todd said, sitting across from him and drinking his own black coffee. 

Dirk reached across the table and grabbed Todd’s hand in what might have been the bravest move Todd had ever seen him make, and they were both about to say something when the door to the dining room opened.

“Hey guys,” Rowen said, her teasing tone of voice letting them know exactly what she’d seen. “Have a good night last night? I would have said hi when I came in but it looked like you two had already started your own party.”

Dirk looked away, leaving Todd to speak for both of them. “Yeah,” he said. “We’re not usually PDA people but we’d been drinking, so…”

“Say no more,” Rowen said. “You guys are so in love, it’s adorable.”

Todd tried to meet Dirk’s eye but couldn’t. Dirk was looking down and to the side, trying to avert Todd’s gaze. Rowen washed and put her dishes away, obviously not expecting Dirk to do them for her, and sat down at the table. Todd couldn’t tell if she didn’t realize she was intruding or just didn’t care.

“I’ve been dying to ask,” Rowen continued, “how did you guys like, know you’d found the one? I’m just getting over major boy drama so I need to know that love is real.”

Dirk plastered on a smile, close enough to the real thing that no one but Todd would have known it was fake. “I was sick for a week and I lied to him about it,” he said, which Todd thought sounded vaguely familiar. Dirk had gotten bronchitis in the process of acting like he was fine. “He took care of me like no one ever had, he even made me soup.”

Rowen aww-ed and Todd knew Dirk was bullshitting, he could barely cook a grilled cheese, let alone soup. All he’d really done when Dirk had had bronchitis was make sure the kitchen didn’t become a biohazard and bring him blankets and aspirin when his fever spiked. They both turned to Todd expectantly and he froze for a second, not sure what to say.

He went for the first thing he thought of. “He made me a better person,” Todd said, and recognized the expression on Dirk’s face as being similar to the one he’d had when Todd showed up at the hospital. “I was living a really big lie, and he didn’t just tell me to do better, he made me want to be better.” He looked Dirk straight in the eyes when he said, “He made me honest.”

Rowen was telling them how cute they were and Todd was trying not to have a heart attack over exactly how honest he’d been, when Martha joined them in the kitchen, grocery bags in hand. Dirk was up in a second, taking a few of the heavier-looking ones and setting them on the counter. Todd felt his heart sink a little, the moment was gone and he didn’t know when he’d get it back.

“Good morning,” Martha said cheerily, as if she hadn’t just stumbled into the most awkward third-wheel situation of all time. “Does anyone want breakfast?”

“I’m afraid I’ll have to pass,” Dirk said. “We’ve quite a lot of… sightseeing to do.”

“Yeah,” Todd said, backing him up. “The foliage isn’t the same now that it’s rained but we’ll go hiking anyway, I’m sure it’ll be nice no matter what.”

Rowen’s phone chimed, and she pulled it out of her pocket to silence it. “I’ll also pass on breakfast,” she said. “I have a lot of research to do.”

“Sounds good,” said Martha as all three of them started to leave. “By the way boys, you must have knocked your notebook off the coffee table, because I just pulled it out from under the loveseat. I had our housekeeper to put it back in your room, but I don’t know why you’d want to keep something so burnt up.”

“Notebook?” Rowen asked, looking up from where she’d been texting.

Dirk stammered for a second, reaching for a lie. “I’ve been taking notes on some literature and one of the candles in the bedroom fell on it,” he said, pulling himself together. “I’ve decided to look deeper into the subject matter of a book I’ve been reading.”

“The slutty romance one?” Todd asked without thinking. Everyone in the room looked at him.

“ _No,_ ” Dirk stressed. “The one on the lumber trade.”

“Right,” Todd said. “You’ve been saying we should drive up to New Hampshire.”

Rowen stood up and pocketed her phone. “It’s beautiful up there,” she said, with a remarkable lack of sincerity. “I have to go, but I’ll see you guys later.”

It sounded like a threat somehow, and Todd had to admit that maybe Dirk had been right all along in finding her suspicious. She pushed open the swinging door and was gone, leaving Dirk and Todd staring at each other, not knowing what to do.


	4. IV

Dirk and Todd regrouped in their room, feeling more pressure to solve the case now that it looked like Rowen really was up to something and starting to suspect them of being onto her. Todd wasn’t sure how far their cover was blown, but they’d definitely been wasting too much time trying to keep it up. It had become distracting, and now they were a step behind. Todd felt bad for letting it go so far, but he didn’t really regret it. He liked acting like Dirk’s boyfriend, but that was a revelation he’d deal with later because for now they just needed to focus.

The good news was that the notebook was sitting on the bed where housekeeping had left it, so they still had their biggest clue. Todd sat down and flipped it open, careful not to damage it any more than the fire already had. They symbols still didn’t make any sense, but it was going to have to come together somehow.

“What are we going to do?” Dirk asked, pacing the length of the room and looking borderline panicked. Dirk was used to handling curveballs, so seeing him so upset was throwing Todd off. “This is all my fault, I should have-” he stopped short and struggled to find his next words. “I haven’t been focused, and now…” He looked at Todd helplessly.

“Listen,” Todd said, setting the notebook down and standing up to stop Dirk’s pacing by placing a hand on either of his shoulders. “This is a setback,” he said. “It’s not like everything is ruined. You need to chill out and then we’re going to fix this, because that’s what we do. Okay?”

Dirk exhaled and his shoulders sagged under Todd’s hands, but he seemed to settle a little. “Okay,” he said, after a short pause.

“Good,” Todd said. “I’m going to go get you some tea, you stay here and think about what’s next. Does that sound alright?” Dirk nodded, finally looking away from Todd to glance at the notebook.

Todd left him to make his way to the kitchen, and fortunately Martha was still there to tell him what kind to make and show him how to make it. Todd tried to memorize the steps, because it would be good to know how to do it for Dirk in the future. With a giant steaming mug in his hand, he went back to their room only to find that both Dirk and the notebook were missing.

His heart stopped for a second, but he took a deep breath and reminded himself that Dirk couldn’t have gone far. He checked the library first, and sure enough Dirk was there, looking over the bookshelves with the notebook in hand.

“Tea?” Todd asked, offering up the mug.

“Always,” Dirk said, accepting the tea and handing Todd the notebook. “I thought there might be something in here that could help us, but it’s mostly just travel guides and books about barn raising. I don’t think there’s anything useful here.”

Todd looked around at the bookshelves while Dirk drank his tea. Even with everything it had, the library was still small, and it wasn’t likely that it would contain anything that could help them.

“Can you like, ask the universe?” Todd suggested. “Like, maybe the stream of creation can send us something.”

Dirk sighed and set his tea down on the desk. “You know it doesn’t work like that,” he said. “I can’t exactly call the universe like a pizza place and say, ‘Oh, hello cosmos, I’d like a holistic delivery please.’ As much as I would love to just walk up to a bookshelf and have exactly what we need thrown in my face, it’s not going to happen.” He illustrated his point by walking up to a random bookshelf and grabbing the first book he saw.

“Dirk-” Todd tried to say, but Dirk was getting worked up and was hard to interrupt.

“This is all my fault and I don’t know how to fix it,” Dirk said, gesturing with the book. “I was distracted, I was _stupid,_ and now-”

“Dirk!” Todd said, finally managing to get his attention. “Look at the book.”

Dirk turned it over in his hands as if he’d forgotten he was even holding it. “‘The Evolution of Language in New England,’” he read off the cover, “‘A Guide to Early Settlers and Old-World Influences.’ Holy shit!”

Todd took the book out of Dirk’s hands and flipped it open to a random page. The title of the chapter was _Runic Alphabets in French Settlements of the Late 1500s._ “Dirk,” he said, “this is it.”

“Well fuck me,” Dirk said, and Todd ignored the way his stomach swooped at the words. He was starting to get a feeling that maybe they’d make time for that later, but for now the case was their number one priority. 

They took the book, the notebook, and Dirk’s tea back to their room and spread everything they had across the bed. Dirk pulled up Adrienne’s email, and Todd got a blank piece of paper, writing down all the symbols so they could compare what they had to what was in the book. He copied the symbols from the tree and the ones from Adrienne, and tried to find any similarities before attempting to translate.

“Todd,” Dirk said, frowning down at the textbook, “It says this is a runic alphabet but I don’t think it translates to letters, at least not any that I know. It looks vaguely like the Latin alphabet but I don’t understand it.”

“Let me see,” Todd said, taking the book out of Dirk’s hands. His eyes lit up as soon as he saw the translation guide. “Dirk,” he said, excited about the case for the first time in a while. “This is the international phonetic alphabet. It’s not words, it’s sounds, like when Wikipedia tries to tell you how to pronounce things.”

Dirk leaned over Todd’s shoulder to take a look. “I’ve always wondered what that was,” he said, “but how will it help us? It’s not like these letters make any more sense.”

Todd grinned triumphantly. “I can read it,” he said. “I took music theory in high school and it was part of the program. I’m sure I’m rusty but I think I can do it. If I read it out loud the way it tells me to, it should sound like full words we can understand.”

Dirk’s grinned matched Todd’s as he wrapped an arm around his shoulders for a hug. “Todd Brotzman,” he said, “you are a genius.”

Todd blushed but started writing. It didn’t make sense yet, but as he wrote out the phonetic alphabet and tried pronouncing things in his head, he had a feeling that it was all starting to come together. 

“Wait,” Dirk said, and Todd frowned because it sounded like Dirk was going to say something he didn’t like. “We only have writing from two fires and the graveyard. There are two other sites we haven’t checked.”

“Shit,” Todd said, his excitement dampened. “We should go do that, like right now.”

Dirk agreed and they changed out of their pajamas quickly, pulling on their good boots and warm jackets. They had to get as much information as they could as quickly as possible, because now that it felt like things were in motion, there was an urgency that hadn’t been there before. They had no idea when the next arson would be, but they needed to be a step ahead by the time it happened.

“We need to take all of this,” Dirk said, gesturing to the papers spread out across the bed. “We cannot let it out of our sight, because if it falls into the wrong hands we’re screwed.”

Todd nodded and started gathering it up while Dirk packed his laptop and grabbed the folder of information from Adrienne. The map of the towers was still there, and hopefully they’d be able to find their way.

“Got everything?” Todd asked.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Dirk said, and before Todd could even say anything he added, “I’m driving.”

*

Driving with Dirk was somehow even more harrowing now that the issue was time-sensitive. The second tower that had burned down was about half an hour away, but they made it in 20 minutes. The rain had turned a lot of the ash into mud that hadn’t had enough time to dry and was still soggy under their feet. The mangled remains of the tower loomed over them as they poked around the outside of the burned circle looking for more carvings like they’d found at the other site. They split up to cover more ground, but Todd remained acutely aware of where Dirk was at all times. For the first time since their arrival he got a sense of actual danger, and Todd would rather watch the entire forest go up in flames than see Dirk get hurt.

Dirk found the marked tree before Todd did. “Hey,” he said, “Todd, come check this out.”

Todd joined him at the tree while Dirk snapped pictures from every possible angle. The notebook and Dirk’s laptop were locked safely in the car, but Todd had copies on his phone. He pulled the runes from the second site up and tried to compare the two.

“They’re not the same,” he said, studying both the tree and his phone for a minute. “It’s close, but not exact.”

Dirk leaned in close to Todd’s personal space to take a look, and Todd resisted the impulse to shiver. Now was not the time.

“You’re right,” Dirk said. “The first two lines are the same but the last two don’t match. What do you think it means?”

“We probably won’t know until we translate it,” Todd said. “Maybe it’s some sort of message or spell, but for all we know it could just be weird old graffiti.”

Dirk laughed softly, still in Todd’s space. “Maybe,” he said, “or one of those adverts about how ‘only you can prevent forest fires.’” 

He finally withdrew to run his hands over the runes. He froze, hand planted firmly against the tree, and sucked in a deep breath.

“Dirk?” Todd asked, concerned that he was staring intently at empty space.

“Do you smell that?” Dirk asked, still staring at nothing.

“Smell what?”

Dirk pulled his hand off the tree with visible reluctance. “I thought I smelled smoke,” he said, “and I got the strangest feeling of déjà vu.” He looked down at his hand. “We need to go back to the fourth site. Soon. Now.”

Todd didn’t question him, just followed him back to the car, buckled in, and held on tight as they careened through back roads. Dirk didn’t even look at a map, guided by some sort of intuition that Todd would probably never understand. They pulled up to what was left of the fourth tower with the tires screeching and Dirk climbed out, locking the doors as soon at Todd had shut his door behind him.

Dirk had managed to park almost exactly where they had been during the fire. The site still smelled like smoke, and Todd wondered if that was what Dirk had sensed during his “déjà vu.” He certainly seemed to know where he was going, making his way to the opposite side of the charred circle with a kind of purpose that he only ever got when a case was heating up.

“Here,” Dirk said, pointing at a tree before he was even all the way there. Sure enough, a familiar four lines of runes were etched into the trunk. “These are the newest, they were put here the night of the fire.”

Todd almost asked how he knew, but remembered that most of the time Dirk had no idea how anything worked. He let Dirk take more pictures while he poked around the ash and mud surrounding them. The glint of something metallic caught his eye, and he bent over to brush ash off of what turned out to be some sort of dagger. It looked so old and was so tarnished that Todd was surprised when he nicked his finger on a newly-sharpened edge.

“Shit,” he swore, handling the dagger more carefully.

Dirk looked up and was at Todd’s side immediately when he realized he was bleeding. “Are you okay?” he asked, taking the dagger out of Todd’s hands.

“It’s fine,” Todd said, sticking his bleeding finger in his mouth to Dirk’s open dismay. “I’ve done worse damage just shaving.”

Dirk looked doubtful, but left it alone for the time being. He turned his attention to the dagger, which at first didn’t seem particularly special aside from how old and sharp it was. Dirk brushed some soot off the handle, and barely visible under the tarnish were two simple runes that matched the ones they’d already found.

“We need to get all of this back to the inn,” he said. “We need to translate this as soon as we can.”

The urgency in his voice told Todd that Dirk was having some kind of feeling that he wouldn’t be able to tap into without holistic help. He grabbed Dirk’s arm and led them to the car. Somehow Dirk found a main road within minutes, and got them back to the inn in record time. They kicked their boots off at the front door and raced to their room with the laptop, notebook, and dagger in hand.

Dirk was very careful to keep Todd from carrying anything sharp.

*

Todd was copying the runes into an empty notebook and Dirk was typing furiously on his computer when Martha knocked on their door. She had a tray of what looked like some sort of pot pie, and set it down on the desk.

“I thought you two might want some brain food,” she said. “It looks like you’re working hard.”

“Thank you,” Dirk said sincerely. “We’re close to an answer, I swear.”

Martha smiled. “I know you are,” she said. “I wouldn’t have expected anything else after looking at your website.”

Todd was starting to become concerned about their alleged website and what it was promising people. He made a mental note to check it out later when things had calmed down.

Martha excused herself and Todd kept transcribing. He’d put each site’s runes on a different piece of paper and spread them out across the bed. The runes from the dagger were short enough to fit on a post-it note, which he stuck on the page for site four.

Dirk was still intently staring at his computer screen, a crease forming between his eyebrows. He was thinking so hard it gave Todd a headache just to look at him.

“Hey,” he said, resting his hand on Dirk’s to slow his typing. “Come on, we should eat while we can. This is going to take a long time and we need to pace ourselves.”

Dirk turned his palm up to squeeze Todd’s hand, and looked over to where their food was going cold. “Alright,” he agreed, “but as soon as we’re done we need to come back to this.”

Todd agreed, and got up to get their tray. It was going to be a long day, and quite possibly a longer night, and they’d need to be ready.

*

Dinner was still piping hot when Todd grabbed the tray, and they chose to sit by the fireplace rather than risk getting anything on their research. They sat cross-legged on the carpet, plates in their laps, too busy eating to talk at first.

Eventually, Todd took a break from inhaling the pot pie. “It’s going to be weird going back to Seattle after all this,” he said.

Dirk hummed in agreement. “We managed after Wendimoor,” he said. “I imagine it’ll be a bit easier when we’re not travelling across dimensions.”

“Not gonna lie dude,” Todd said, “this New England shit kind of feels like a different dimension. I’ve never eaten so much maple-based food in my life.” He gestured to the maple fudge on the tray to illustrate his point.

Dirk huffed out a small laugh. “I suppose it is quite different,” he said, grabbing some fudge. “I do still miss it from time to time. I’d actually considered coming back here for a while, but being here with you reminded me that Seattle is my real home. I plan on staying as long as you’ll have me.”

Todd would be lying if he said he wasn’t relieved, but Dirk wasn’t quite meeting his eye, so Todd angled his head, forcing eye contact. “I can’t believe you still think I might ask you to leave,” he said, “because if you leave I’m going with you. Seattle, Northampton, fucking Montana, I don’t give a shit. I want you to stay. With me.”

Dirk sucked in a sharp breath, eyes shining, and Todd realized the gravity of what he’d just said. It was like Sound of Nothing all over again, but without a love spell to blame it on in the morning. He cleared his throat awkwardly and looked away, but he could feel Dirk still watching him.

“We should get back to work,” he said, and felt Dirk pull himself together next to him.

“Right,” Dirk said. “Work.”

*

They worked until well past sundown, flipping the bedside lights on when the golden daylight faded. It was harder work than either of them had expected. Every symbol seemed to have multiple translations, and they ended up having to cross-reference everything multiple times based on whatever runes became before or after it. Todd had pages and pages of scribbles of the phonetic alphabet, most of them either heavily edited or crumpled up on the bed around them.

Eventually Todd had enough faith in his translation of some of the notebook’s runes to attempt to pronounce them out loud. If he could figure out how to say at least a little bit, it might help them unravel the rest. 

“Okay,” he said, holding the paper out in front of him. He started reading, only to trip over the syllables halfway through the first line. The sounds made sense, but they were ordered all wrong, and he felt like he was reading gibberish. He put the paper down and sighed.

“Why did you stop?” asked Dirk. “That was great.”

“That was utter nonsense,” Todd said. “We must have done something wrong.”

“That was _French,_ ” Dirk said, placing his hand on Todd’s knee and rubbing reassuring circles with his thumb. “I didn’t get enough to understand it, but it’s definitely French. Try again.”

Todd kicked himself for assuming a French settlement would have used English, but picked up the paper and tried again. He stumbled over the unfamiliar sounds and had to start over a few times, but eventually made it through the entire page. He looked up at Dirk when he was done, whose expression was a strange mix of excited and disappointed.

“It’s definitely French,” Dirk said again, “but it’s old. I can figure out bits and pieces but can’t put the whole thing together.”

They thought in silence for a minute, and then at the same time they both said, “Adrienne.”

Dirk fired up the video chat on his computer immediately, and Todd checked the clock.

“Dirk,” he said, “it’s two in the morning. Shouldn’t we wait until tomorrow?” He still found Adrienne a little terrifying and didn’t love the thought of waking her up in the middle of the night.

“Don’t worry,” Dirk said, waving his hand dismissively. “Adrienne doesn’t sleep.”

Todd just accepted it, not surprised by anything he learned about her anymore. Dirk found Adrienne in his contacts and hit the call button.

When Adrienne answered, she was impeccably dressed with her hair pulled back into an elegant knot at the back of her head. Todd straightened his t-shirt even though he wasn’t on camera, somehow feeling underdressed for 2am. 

“Hello Dirk,” she said. “You too, Todd.” Either she just assumed Todd would be there or somehow knew without seeing him, but it was a little unsettling either way.

“We need your help,” Dirk said, getting straight to the point.

Adrienne frowned minutely and took a sip from her wine glass. “I didn’t expect you would,” she said. “What is it?”

Todd leaned into the frame and said, “We found a bunch of runes around the arson. We can translate them but it’s some kind of old French that we don’t understand.”

Adrienne snapped to attention a little bit at the mention of runes. “Read it to me,” she said, setting her glass down out of frame.

Todd grabbed the paper and tried to read it as smoothly as he could, occasionally looking to Dirk for encouragement. When he finished they both looked expectantly at Adrienne, hoping she had the answers they needed.

“Oh my god,” she said, burying her face in her hands. “Your accent is almost as bad as Dirk’s. Again, but much slower.”

Todd consoled himself with the knowledge that at least he wasn’t worse than Dirk and tried again. He pronounced everything as clearly as he could, going slower than he had before. Halfway through the last line Adrienne went so still that for a second Todd thought the connection had frozen.

“Where did you find this?” she asked with a sense of urgency that hadn’t been there before.

“In a notebook at the first arson,” Dirk said. “More was carved into trees around each of the other sites.”

Adrienne picked up her wine glass and drained it in one go with a lack of dignity Todd had thought she was incapable of. “Sleep,” she said sternly, “at least for a few hours. In the morning get everything together and keep it with you at all times. Do not go anywhere and speak to no one but myself and Martha. You’re in greater danger than you know.”

“What does it mean?” Todd asked, wondering where the sudden danger had come from.

“I’ll explain later,” Adrienne said. “For now, get some rest and do as I say. I’ll contact you when I need you.”

She shut her camera off and Dirk and Todd were left staring at each other wondering what had just happened.

“She’s right about one thing,” Dirk said eventually, “we should sleep. I have a feeling we’ll need it.”

Todd conceded that Dirk had a point even without one of his hunches backing it up. Together they cleared the bed of their translations, moving them to safety where they wouldn’t get crushed. He hadn’t realized how tired he was until he and Dirk were both in bed, and had no problem closing his eyes and drifting off.

They fell asleep closer together than was strictly necessary in a bed of that size, but neither of them commented. In the split second before unconsciousness hit him, Todd could swear he felt Dirk’s hand grab his. 

*

He woke up in the morning with his head on Dirk’s chest. Blinking against the light, he looked up and saw that Dirk was awake and browsing Wikipedia on his phone.

“What time is it?” he asked, voice rough from sleep. He reluctantly sat up, removing himself from Dirk but staying close. A week ago Todd would have been mortified if he’d woken up basically on top of his best friend, but it already felt like a year since they’d left Northampton. A lot had changed.

“About 11:30,” Dirk said, setting his phone aside and sitting up more next to Todd. “I tried to wake you at one point but you were pretty intent on staying where you were.”

Todd cleared his throat awkwardly. “Thanks,” he said. “Did we miss breakfast?”

“I’m not sure,” Dirk said. “I think at this point it’s a matter of missing lunch. I’m not particularly keen on getting up though, so my plan is just to snack heavily later.”

“Good plan,” said Todd, who also wasn’t particularly keen on moving. “We’re not allowed to go anywhere or talk to anyone, so what should we do?”

*

They ended up watching The Great British Bake Off for four hours before getting so hungry that they had to venture downstairs for something to eat. They didn’t bother changing out of their pajamas, but it didn’t end up mattering because the entire inn was empty. The total silence was eerie; Rowen was nowhere to be found and there was no Martha in the kitchen, just a note about the risotto she’d left in the fridge. Todd had a strange feeling, and Dirk seemed equally unsettled. 

“I guess we should eat,” Dirk said, opening the fridge to find the risotto had been perfectly portioned into individual containers and ready to be heated up.

Todd took his bowl and popped it in the microwave. “I’m not the only one who feels weird that we’re the only ones here, right?”

“Definitely not,” Dirk said. “Something’s happening. I couldn’t figure it out at first because my mind has just been… elsewhere, but you’re right.”

The microwave pinged and Todd swapped his bowl for Dirk’s. “What should we do?”

Dirk hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t think we can sit here doing nothing,” he said. “I know Adrienne told us not to go anywhere but I have a feeling there’s somewhere we’re supposed to be.”

They sat down in the dining room, inhaling the risotto that was on par with everything else Martha had cooked. They traded ideas over where to go, and Todd got increasingly frustrated. He felt like there was a gigantic hole in the plot somewhere, but he couldn’t find it.

Finally when they were done, Dirk took their dishes. As he was loading them into the dishwasher he said, “I know where we should go.”

“Awesome,” Todd said. “Is it like, some historical site or something?”

“Not quite,” Dirk said, and he glanced at the clock. “We should go soon though.”

They got dressed, pulling on warm jackets in anticipation of a cool autumn night. The parking lot was totally empty except for their Jeep, and for the first time Todd wondered why a popular place like the Autumn Inn only had three guests during the peak season. It could be a coincidence, but Todd knew better than to leave it at that. He pulled his backpack with Dirk’s laptop and all the information on the runes a little closer, just to be safe.

On the drive to Dirk’s mystery location they traded theories about the empty inn, each one getting more outrageous until Todd was laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe. Eventually Dirk slowed the car and pulled up a clearing on the side of a mountain. It overlooked the most scenic sunset Todd had probably ever seen, something so perfect that had it been in a movie he would have assumed they’d used CGI.

They popped the trunk and grabbed the blankets Dirk had left in the backseat, spreading them out like they had when they’d read together. Instead of pulling out books, they sat together in relative quiet, peacefully taking in the view. Todd couldn’t help but snap some pictures, and when he turned to Dirk to take one of him, he froze. Dirk was bathed in golden light, smiling and looking more content than Todd had ever seen him. He took a picture without Dirk noticing, and it gave him the courage to say something he’d been trying not to think about.

“We’re kind of dating, aren’t we?”

“Yeah,” Dirk said with a smile, “I think so.” He looked so pleased that Todd had no choice but to lean in and kiss him.

Dirk’s hands trembled a little where they came to rest on Todd’s face, but he leaned into it and met Todd halfway. The kiss was nothing like their drunken making out; it was soft and sweet and a thousand times better because they weren’t pretending they didn’t mean it.

Todd pulled away but didn’t go far, keeping his hands where they were resting on Dirk’s arms. “So is this like, our first date? Or did going back in time count?”

Dirk laughed, a little breathless. “I have no idea,” he said, “but if it was in fact the time travel, would that mean we’d had two first dates?”

Todd laughed too. “I don’t know, dude. I’m just glad we’re doing this. The sunset was a great idea by the way, very romantic.”

“Actually,” Dirk said, flushing a little, “that’s not the real reason we’re here. The stars will be out soon, and when I lived here I always wanted to show them to someone.”

Something tugged hard under Todd’s ribs, and he grabbed Dirk by the back of his neck for another kiss, thrilled he could do it without needing to fake a reason. Dirk kissed back eagerly, the two of them connecting like magnets drawn together by a force of nature. It was a while before either of them pulled away.

Todd leaned back until he was lying down, pulling Dirk with him until they were both spread out in the back of the car. The quilt kept them warm, and they settled down together. At a certain point in his life, Todd would have used the opportunity to try to get laid, but it was different with Dirk. Everything was different with Dirk. 

Dirk tucked his face into the crook of Todd’s neck, and they fell asleep before any constellations were even visible.

*

Todd woke up when Dirk sat bolt upright next to him saying, “Something’s wrong.”

A split second later they heard a whoosh like a gas fireplace starting up but louder, and seconds after that they saw smoke and colored sparks coming from about a hundred yards away.

“What’s happening?” Todd asked, sitting up and rubbing his eyes.

“This doesn’t make sense,” Dirk said. “There’s not a tower here.”

“Not that we know of,” Todd suggested. “The folder Adrienne gave us said not all of them were mapped.”

Dirk swore under his breath. “I guess we should go investigate.”

Todd didn’t want to move any more than Dirk did, but it was technically their job. “Let’s go,” he said. “We can walk and no one will hear us coming.”

They left the backpack in the car, shoving it under Todd’s seat on the off chance anyone came by and tried to look in. Dirk locked the car and after they’d checked and re-checked that it was secure, they crept through the trees with a flashlight from the glove compartment until they could smell smoke. Dirk led the way, but put a hand out behind him for Todd to hold. The cold feeling of impending danger was starting to settle into Todd’s stomach, and he squeezed Dirk’s hand as they came up on the clearing.

The fire wasn’t much different than the one they’d seen before. It was hot, and the colored flames gave off the distinct impression of something supernatural. They crouched down behind some of the foliage around the clearing and tried to get a handle on the situation.

The fire hadn’t been burning long, and they didn’t know where Rowen would have set up camp, or if she was even there at all. For all they knew it could be remote magic, and she was safely somewhere miles away. The question was answered quickly when Rowen stepped around from the other side of the fire, and with a snap of her fingers the bush they were hiding behind went up in flames.

“Jesus!” Todd yelled, jumping back and instinctively pulling Dirk with him.

“Actually,” Dirk said, staring at the flaming bush as it was incinerated, “I think that one was Moses.”

Todd gave him an incredulous look, wondering if now was really the time for biblical humor, but Rowen spoke before he could.

“If it isn’t the happy couple,” she said. “What, did you get tired of leaf-peeping and decide to become spies?”

Dirk put his hands up in a show of surrender and stepped into the clearing so he could confront her face-to-face. Without thinking, Todd followed him.

“We’re detectives,” Dirk said calmly, like he was talking to a spooked animal. “We came to investigate the arsons. We don’t want any trouble, we just wanted to know what was going on.”

“Detectives?” Rowen asked. “Who sent you?”

“The universe,” Todd said, and when Rowen made a confused face, he continued, “It’s a holistic thing. Don’t worry about it, it’s kind of a long story.” He wasn’t ready to bring in Adrienne just yet on the off chance Rowen might reveal more information before figuring out their source. He had a feeling that if she did, she’d either clam up or kill both of them on the spot.

Rowen shook her head and held up her hand instead. Her tattoos seemed alive in the light of the fire, and Todd wondered if they were part of her powers or just for dramatic effect. She examined the flames coming off her hand like someone pretentious would examine a glass of wine before calling it oakey. The flames built and built, mimicking the fire burning the tower down next to them. As they watched helplessly, she built a fireball and aimed it directly at them.

“Wait!” Dirk said, and the fire in Rowen’s hand receded. “Why are you doing this? Is this about the Puritans? I’m pretty sure they were peaceful, unless of course you were Native American, but that was kind of the cultural standard of the time-”

Rowen interrupted him by laughing. “You fucking idiots,” she said. “There were never any Puritans here, that’s just what they tell the tourists.”

“Then…” Todd started, “who are you?”

Flames flickered back into Rowen’s hands, but they were smaller, highlighting her gestures but not outwardly posing any real threat. “My family, when there were still enough of them to form a community, were some of the first settlers to come over from France. It was getting dangerous to be like us there, and they thought they’d be left alone here. It worked for a while, but then the loggers came.”

The flames on her hands grew, and Todd stepped back, putting a protective hand on Dirk’s chest as if it could save either of them.

“Have you ever heard of the Salem witch trials?” she asked. “That was a goddamn cakewalk compared to what they did to us. My ancestors had never been anything but peaceful, but they were witches, evil, and more damning than anything they controlled most of these forests. The loggers hanged the men, burned the women and children, and started hacking away at the woods. Only a few survived, and I’m the only one left who can do this.”

She snapped her fingers and a ring of purple and orange flames manifested itself around Dirk and Todd.

“Why are you doing this?” Dirk asked, remarkably unfazed by the fire. He was stalling, and Todd didn’t know why, but he helped anyway.

“Yeah,” he said. “What good is all of this now?”

“Revenge,” Rowen said, as if it should have been obvious. “I’m erasing them from history. I started on the towers, and then I’m going to torch their monuments, and eventually I’m going to burn their descendants like they burned my family. I don’t care how late it is, they’re going to pay.”

Dirk slowly eased his way in front of Todd, placing himself bodily between Todd and the danger. Todd placed a reassuring hand between Dirk’s shoulder blades, and felt some of the tension ease out of him.

“How do you know you’re the last?” Dirk asked. “Your line lasted long enough for you to be born. There might be others.”

Rowen looked up at the burning tower sadly. “My parents died last year,” she said. “My mom was the one who gave me all this. The runes I’ve been carving into the trees were supposed to tell me if there were others. I researched for years trying to piece together what was left of our language, and then someone stole my notebook and I haven’t been able to get it right from memory.”

All at once, the fire around Todd and Dirk disappeared, and the fire burning the tower down was completely extinguished. Rowen looked around, caught off guard and visibly panicked.

“What did you do?” Todd asked Dirk.

“That wasn’t me,” Dirk said, surprised as everyone else.

A voice from behind them yelled, “Duck!” and Todd barely had time to pull Dirk down with him before a huge fireball arced over their heads and hit Rowen full-force.

Anyone else would have been incinerated on the spot, but Rowen just brushed it off, casually putting out the flames that lingered on her clothes. She didn’t outwardly seem alarmed that she was on fire, but Todd’s mind was racing trying to figure out what had just happened.

With impeccable timing, Adrienne stepped into the clearing, silver and gold flames flickering off her hands much in the same way Rowen’s had. Adrienne put herself in front of Dirk and Todd with a look that said _stay out of this,_ and addressed Rowen directly.

“You’re not the last,” Adrienne said, her smooth accent rounding out the words. “You think too little of the ones who stayed in France.”

Rowen was visibly unnerved for the first time, and stuttered out a few words in halting French.

“She wants to know how many are left,” Dirk translated. Adrienne responded in a tone of voice that probably would have made Todd pee his pants had it been directed at him. Dirk translated again, saying, “Adrienne says she’ll never know.”

Rowen’s eyes went wide in a combination of fear and shock when Adrienne pulled out the notebook that she must have stolen from the Jeep. Todd didn’t know what she said next, but he didn’t need Dirk to translate that she was begging for something.

Adrienne just shook her head and read from a page that Todd had translated not long before they’d called her the previous night. He didn’t know the meaning of the words, but Adrienne said them in a way that made his pronunciation sound like the grinding noise of a broken printer. He finally understood why she hated it so much when they tried to speak French.

Adrienne twisted her wrist, pointed at Rowen and a stream of fire resembling molten precious metals wrapped itself around her. She didn’t even have time to scream before disintegrating into ash, and suddenly everything was dark and quiet.

“You fucking idiots,” Adrienne said, turning to them. Todd would have resented being called an idiot twice in one night if he hadn’t been so happy to be alive. “I told you two things: don’t go anywhere, and keep those translations with you at all times. And what happens? I find you in the middle of a forest about to be spit roasted by a maniac.”

“Wait,” Todd said. “What just happened?”

Adrienne sighed and rubbed her eyes. “I’m too tired to explain, and I don’t even know if you’d understand if I did. Go back to the inn and I’ll meet you there in the morning. I have things I need to take care of tonight.”

She looked at the wrecked tower and muttered something in French that Todd didn’t need translated to know it was profane. They said their goodbyes, and Dirk and Todd made their way back to the car. The passengers’ side window had been smashed in, and the ride back was too windy and cold for any real conversation, but Todd could tell Dirk was as happy as he was that they were alive, safe, and together.

*

The inn was completely silent when they got back. Todd had just enough time to open his mouth to suggest binge-eating maple ice cream when Dirk threw himself at him. The kiss was hot, fueled by the adrenaline that came with almost dying and the knowledge that they could finally be together like this. Todd went with it, let Dirk lick into his mouth as he wound his hands around to tuck them into Dirk’s back pockets.

At the bottom of the stairs they shed their jackets and kicked off their boots. Halfway up, Todd had Dirk up against the wall and his mouth on Dirk’s neck while Dirk ran his hands up the back of Todd’s shirt. Dirk’s pulse was quick under Todd’s lips, and Todd could feel his heart hammering inside his chest with the same urgency. By the time they stumbled through their door, Dirk’s jeans were unbuttoned, Todd was completely shirtless, and somehow neither of them were wearing socks. 

Dirk went for Todd’s belt next, unbuckling it with shaky hands as he tried to get as far into Todd’s personal space as he could. “Todd,” he said between kisses, “I’ve wanted… you have no idea how long.”

“I know, I know,” Todd said, even though he probably didn’t. Dirk was looking at him like he’d wanted him for weeks, months, maybe even years. It occurred to Todd that maybe he had. He’d missed so much, and the urge to make up for lost time was overwhelming.

Still, he knew Dirk had never done this, or anything like this, and the pressure took the edge off some of the desperation. For the first time in his life, Todd wanted to do this right. The way he needed to take care of Dirk was similar to the way he needed to breathe; it was instinctual, and the idea of stopping voluntarily was ludicrous. Dirk was on another level though, overwhelmed and frantic and pulling Todd as close as he could get. As much as it killed him, Todd pulled away just a little to try to slow things down.

Dirk’s hands fell away from Todd’s waist. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Todd said, quick to reassure him by bringing a hand up to his face. “Let’s just slow down, I don’t want this to be over before it can start.” He wanted to draw this out, make it last, and that wasn’t going to happen if Dirk kept kissing him like he was the answer to every question he’d ever asked.

Dirk smiled, clearly relieved, and kissed Todd again with some of the urgency gone. Todd held Dirk’s face so he couldn’t deepen the kiss, so they had to go slower, and heat started to simmer between them. He pulled Dirk’s shirt over his head, placing soft kisses along his collarbone once it had been tossed aside. Dirk’s breathing evened out, but the flush in his cheeks started to spread down his chest. Once both of their pants were on the floor Todd kissed him again and pushed him back gently until they hit the bed.

Todd positioned himself over Dirk, legs tangled together and his thigh strategically placed between Dirk’s. It was hard not to get carried away and get off just like this, just the two of them and friction and heat, but Todd wanted more than that, and he wanted more for Dirk. He dipped his head, kissing Dirk slowly but deeply and feeling both of them relax. When some of the tension had eased out of Dirk’s shoulders, Todd moved his lips back to Dirk’s neck.

“ _Fuck,_ ” Dirk said, gasping as his hips instinctively arched up when Todd sucked a mark behind his ear, a place Todd was learning was exceptionally sensitive. He nipped at the bruise and made another one, lower, and he felt the noise Dirk made low in the back of his throat against his lips.

Dirk was moaning softly now, writhing just a little bit underneath Todd where he couldn’t quite control himself. Todd felt his movements grow fevered, his hips rocking down against Dirk despite his best efforts, and it took everything he had to control the burn.

“Is this okay?” he asked, slowing but not stopping. It was a question he hadn’t asked enough in his life, and he needed to be sure.

“Todd,” Dirk said, his stern tone undercut by how he was still rocking up against Todd’s thigh in small movements, “of course it’s okay. I could write an entire dissertation on how okay this is, but I’d rather skip to the part where we’re naked and I can touch you.”

“Yeah,” Todd said, a pulse of arousal shooting down his spine. “Yeah, we can do that.”

He kissed Dirk again, tangling his fingers into the hair at the back of Dirk’s head and gripping lightly. Dirk moaned into his mouth and his hips almost lifted off the bed in an effort to try to get more friction, and suddenly Todd couldn’t get them naked fast enough. He kicked off his boxers with his usual lack of grace and tugged Dirk’s underwear down next, both of them gasping at the new contact.

Dirk’s eyes fluttered shut when Todd palmed his cock, and his breath caught in his throat when Todd started stroking it. He made a small noise when Todd kissed up under his jaw and kept thrusting his hips up towards Todd’s hand. Todd was too busy focusing on what made Dirk’s breath hitch in a way that made his knees weak to see it coming when Dirk worked his hand between them and wrapped it around Todd’s length. It was amazing, and Todd wanted more, he wanted everything Dirk would give him, and he buried his face in Dirk’s neck. 

When Dirk withdrew unexpectedly, Todd’s first instinct was to look up and check Dirk’s face for any signs of discomfort. Dirk hadn’t gone far though, reaching out just enough to grab hand lotion from the nightstand table. He’d been using it the entire trip; it smelled like evergreen trees and crisp autumn air and Todd was going to need to get the brand name because he wanted to remember every little detail of Dirk slicking them both up.

“Fuck,” Todd said, wrapping a hand around them both and groaning when Dirk’s hand wrapped around his. 

Dirk moaned his agreement and experimentally thrust up into their shared grip. “Oh,” he said breathlessly, and did it again. “ _Oh,_ ” he said again, “Todd, _fuck._ ”

Todd pressed his forehead against Dirk’s and thrust his own cock up, and Dirk lost his mind. His free hand scrambled to touch Todd wherever he could while they moved together, eventually raking his nails down Todd’s back and settling on his hip. Todd squeezed his hand and Dirk gasped underneath him, a heavy sound laced with wet heat.

Dirk let Todd guide their hands, but never let go. He was shaking just a little bit but Todd wasn’t faring much better, and all he could do was breathe Dirk in, kissing him whenever he could muster up the brain cells to think to do it. He had never in his life been this far gone for anyone and it was almost too much, but Dirk kept making small noises in the back of his throat and Todd forced himself to stay in the moment.

He twisted his wrist just slightly and Dirk gasped, fingers flexing around Todd’s. Todd did it again, and again, and Dirk went wild underneath him. His chest was heaving and he kept pulling Todd towards him with the hand that was now gripping onto his hip for dear life, and Todd was never, ever, going to let this go. Dirk had kept barriers around himself for as long as Todd had known him, but his walls were down now. Todd didn’t know what was going to happen going forward, but in that moment he vowed to himself that he would always help Dirk feel this safe.

“Come on,” he said, breathless and overcome and starting to unravel. “Yeah Dirk, _fuck.”_

__

__

He wasn’t really paying attention to his words, but apparently Dirk was, because his breath came faster and his hips moved restlessly, throwing off the pace they’d set. Dirk’s eyes went wide before squeezing shut, and he tilted his head back as he arched up against Todd. Todd wanted to send Dirk over the edge, but Dirk beat him to it, squeezing his hand around Todd’s and taking what he needed.

When Dirk came his body went taught, arching up to get as close to Todd as he possibly could. The long, low moan that seemed almost ripped out of his throat set Todd alight and he was gone, shaking with his climax before his strength gave out and he collapsed halfway on top of Dirk. 

They were quiet for a moment but they stayed close; Todd caught his breath with his head on Dirk’s shoulder and Dirk wrapped his arms around Todd like he might disappear if Dirk didn’t hold him tightly enough.

“You good?” Todd asked, even though he had a feeling he knew the answer.

Dirk beamed, looking happy and content and peaceful all at once.

“Yeah,” he said. “Never better.”

*

Todd woke up sometime around dawn to rose gold light filtering through the window. Dirk’s face was buried in his neck and Todd’s arm was asleep, but he refused to move it. He shifted and Dirk sighed, moving with him with a soft noise. Todd closed his eyes, and fell back asleep in seconds.

*

When Todd woke up in the morning they were tangled together, and with great reluctance he pulled away, but only far enough to kiss Dirk awake. Dirk’s eyes opened slowly, but he lit up when he saw Todd.

“I was afraid it was a dream,” he said, and Todd kissed him again to prove it was real.

“Nope,” he said. “Like, I know reality is subjective or whatever but I’m really here.” He brushed his fingers over a dark bruise on Dirk’s neck. “Looks like I tried to prove that a little too hard last night.”

Dirk shivered a little at the touch, but his smile turned wicked. “I can’t exactly say I mind,” he said, and he pulled Todd in for another kiss. It was a little deeper, a little hotter, and Todd was really starting to lean into it when there was a knock at the door. He groaned, and Dirk laughed.

“Breakfast is ready, boys,” came Martha’s voice through the door. “I didn’t want to disturb you but I’m afraid Adrienne insisted.”

“We’ll be right down!” Dirk said, swatting Todd when he tried to object. “Thank you!”

They got ready quickly, trying to look as presentable as possible. There was nothing to be done about Dirk’s neck, which short of stage makeup or a turtleneck was going to make it obvious what they’d been up to. Todd wasn’t as bothered by it as he probably should have been.

Breakfast was butterscotch pancakes, and the smell alone was enough to make Todd hungry. “I’m going to need your recipes,” he said as Martha handed him his plate. “I won’t be able to make them but I can hire like, a private chef or something.”

“Oh, I don’t use recipes,” Martha said. “I’m a holistic chef, I just put things in a bowl until they taste good. I’m not even sure what a measuring cup looks like.”

Dirk and Todd shared a look of disbelief, but Adrienne joined them at the table before either of them could say anything. She looked at Dirk with raised eyebrows, saying something in French that Todd didn’t understand, but Dirk’s smug response was translation enough.

“You’re probably wondering what happened last night,” she said, and they nodded, digging into their food. “There are certain people,” she said, “with genetic quirks. One of those quirks is pyrokinesis. No one knows how far back it goes, but there are indications in the Lascaux cave paintings that it’s been around for thousands of years and has stayed mostly local to what is now France.”

“And you’re… one of them?” Dirk asked.

Adrienne snapped and all of the candles in the dining room lit up. Another snap and they were immediately extinguished. Todd froze with a forkful of pancakes halfway to his mouth, and it took a sharp elbow to his ribs from Dirk to remind him not to stare. 

“With the church-sanctioned witch hunts, things got very dangerous,” Adrienne said, ignoring Todd’s impolite gawking. “A few centuries ago some of them left for the Americas hoping for more freedom. I’m assuming their language and abilities diverged there, which is why I didn’t recognize it immediately. I had no idea any of them were still alive, or I would have looked deeper.”

“What was up with the crazy runes?” Todd asked.

Adrienne pulled the notebook and dagger out of the bag at her side. “It’s a spell,” she said. “Something between a prayer and your Find My iPhone app. I wouldn’t have recognized it without hearing it spoken, and even then it was hard to understand. It was an admirable effort, but it would have failed. The translation is shit and she wouldn’t have been able to find her own ass with it.”

Todd snorted before remembering where he was and who he was talking to. He didn’t want to piss Adrienne off ever for any reason, so he shut up.

“Are there others?” asked Dirk.

Adrienne shook her head. “I have no idea,” she said, “and if there are I’m not going to try to find them. Rowen was a fanatic, an outlier, and I don’t think there will be more problems. If there are, I’ll be able to recognize them thanks to your work.”

“That’s a relief,” Todd said. “What happens next?”

Martha came in from the kitchen with a carton of orange juice. “I’m going to list vacancies for the inn again starting on Monday,” she said. “You’re welcome to stay for the weekend.”

“There’s a room at the Hotel Northampton for whenever and however long you want,” Adrienne added. “Just let me know when you’re ready to go home and I’ll make the arrangements.”

“Wow,” said Dirk. “Truly, thank you. You’ve been more than generous.”

“Definitely,” Todd agreed. “Aside from the arson and crime I’ve actually had a really good time here.”

Martha laughed and Adrienne stood up, putting everything back in her bag. “I have to go now, but thank you both for all of your help. I’ll be sure to leave a positive review on your website.”

Todd gave Dirk a sideways look, but he was already standing up to say goodbye to Adrienne. Todd did the same, letting her kiss both of his cheeks, before grabbing his arm with astonishing strength and staring him straight in the eyes for an uncomfortable few seconds. Todd nodded, understanding it as the threat it was meant to be. He had no plans to hurt Dirk either way, but now he was aware that there’d be a price on his head if he did. It was a little unnerving, but it was nice to know there was someone out there who cared about Dirk so much.

Martha showed Adrienne out, and Dirk and Todd loaded up the dishwasher with the dishes from breakfast.

“So we have the whole weekend,” Todd said, “what do you want to do?”

Dirk leaned in and kissed Todd slow and sweet, with an edge of heat that told Todd _exactly_ what Dirk wanted to do. “I have an idea for an experiment,” he said.

“Yeah?” Todd asked, a little breathless and willing to do anything Dirk asked.

“Mmhmm,” Dirk said, staying in Todd’s personal space. “I think we should try to find out which will collapse first, the bedframe or our skeletons.” 

“ _Shit,_ ” Todd said, pushing Dirk towards the stairs. “We should start like, right now.”

Dirk laughed and let himself be pushed, eventually dragging Todd upstairs by his collar. They tripped and fell over each other on the way, but managed to direct the fall onto the bed. Dirk sighed happily when Todd ran his fingers through his hair.

“Did it,” he said, happier than Todd had ever seen him.


	5. Epilogue

They spent the weekend decidedly not sightseeing, only leaving their room to eat and occasionally enjoy tea and coffee wrapped in a blanket on the front porch swing. Martha was discreet enough not to mention the bruises that had been blossoming all over Dirk’s neck and chest until Todd got a grip on himself and begrudgingly put them in less visible places. On Sunday afternoon they packed their things, not really worried about whose clothes went in which suitcase.

Saying goodbye to Martha was bittersweet, but they promised to come back and visit. It wasn’t an empty promise either, Todd was already trying to figure out how to sell Farah on a trip in the spring. Dirk insisted on driving back to Northampton, but for once he let Todd pick the music.

They ended up in the same room at the hotel as last time, with the notable difference being the absence of the creepy painting. It had been replaced by a landscape, and Todd was grateful that he wasn’t going to have to worry about it watching them have sex.

Halloween was only a few days away, so they decided to stay through the holiday before going back to Seattle. They went thrifting for costumes, and Todd managed to find a ridiculous bright blue jacket with the words “I’m Tired” emblazoned across the back. They decided then and there to dress up as each other, and when Todd sent a picture to Amanda, she responded with a short video of her and the Rowdies booing them loudly while Vogel yelled, “You’re gross!”

Farah’s response was just a short text that said _I told you so, see you soon._ They ate candy until they felt sick and fell asleep with Dirk halfway on top of Todd. It had been a great trip, but they were both ready for it to end. 

Airports and planes were no easier flying back, but Dirk kept Todd’s hand in his the entire time. It helped in a way that pararibulitis medication never could, and Todd wouldn’t have let go for the world.

Farah was waiting for them in Seattle with freshly painted nails and brand new clothes, but Todd could tell that she’d missed them. Dirk let Todd have the front seat and only kicked it a little bit on the drive back to their apartment. Farah dropped them off with a stern warning about expenses, but her smile told them that she was kidding. Mostly.

Finally back in their apartment, they dropped their bags in the middle of the living room and kicked off their shoes without caring where they landed. They seemed to agree to sleep in Dirk’s room without actually talking about it, and Todd followed him to bed. It had been a long day, and they were both exhausted.

They settled down together, and Todd felt both of them relax right away. He was happy, and Dirk was happy, and Todd finally felt like they were where they were meant to be even though it wasn’t necessarily where they had intended to go.

They were home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading! I'll be posting deleted scenes and scenes from Dirk's POV as a sequel to this, so stay tuned to my [fic blog](http://www.oneprotagonistshort.tumblr.com) for updates!


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